Page 84 of Balance
Titus paused mid-step, turning his attention to the two of us. Before I could even suck in a breath to reassure them, he was there, peering down at me. “What’s wrong?”
No!
“I’m fine.” Even through my resolve, my answer was annoyingly weak.
Irefusedto be this pathetic. It wasnotnormal to be anxious at the thought of leaving Miles behind; he’d already proven his ability to survive out here quite well on his own.
And, darn it, now that both Julian and Titus were on my case, Damen and Miles had stopped talking and peered over in question.
But how could I answer their questions? I didn’t even know what was wrong with me.
“I’ll be right back.” I forced my fingers to move, to release my death-grip on Julian’s hands. Maybe I just needed some space away from them for a second. A quick wash of my face, some fresh air away from their man scents to clear my head…
Then everything would be perfect.
Before anyone could argue with me, I’d already slipped from the camp and was making my way back to the place where Julian and I had gone the night before. There was a hot spring there, as Titus had promised, and also a slow-moving river.
Something cold would be nice.
“Bianca.”
It was Julian who followed me, and I silently cursed. Still, once I’d reached the water, I waited.
“Bianca.” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him. “What was that about?”
“Nothing,” I lied, unable to meet his eyes.
“I know how you’re feeling when I’m touching you like this.” Julian sighed. “Why are you anxious?”
I pulled from him, desperately trying to keep it together. “I don’t know!” I protested. “It’s stupid!”
“It’s stupid, or you don’t know?” Julian asked, unable to mask his hurt.
Of course, that only made me feel worse… I couldalwaysfeel his emotions. It wasn’t fair for me to get upset that he could feel mine.
“Both…” I grabbed his arm. His face wavered in my vision. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Well,” Julian said slowly, contemplative. “Take it one by one. Why are you upset now?”
I couldn’t tell him, I couldn’t—
“It’ll only get worse if you try to suppress it,” he added, sitting on the ground and pulling me into his lap. “Just say it.”
“I don’t want to leave Miles.”
I didn’t even realize I’d spoken out loud until his eyebrows lifted. He carefully responded. “I knew you were anxious about him before. We thought seeing him might make you feel better, but—”
“It’s worse!” I pulled at my hair. “I feel so stupid, but we’re finally all together. I can’t do this again.”
Julian made a sound of understanding as he pulled at my hands, untangling them from my curls. “Separation anxiety.”
I looked at him then, slightly offended. “I’m not a dog.”
“People can get separation anxiety. Children—”
“I’m not a child,” I protested.
“Adults too,” Julian continued, as if I hadn’t interrupted. “Especially in cases where someone has unresolved trauma and they make a connection to someone.”
