Page 56 of Filthy Commitments
“Ah, I can take them or leave them. Not a crazy fan of any one team. I just like to watch the games now and then so I can keep up with things. You wanna do something?”
I was actually feeling quite horny but wasn’t sure how to approach him with that. “Wanna take a swim?”
“Sure. Let’s go change.” He got up and took my hand, but I pulled him back.
“Wanna skinny dip?”
He smiled at me and nodded. “With you, anytime.”
Quickly, we went out to the pool and ditched our clothes then jumped into the cool water. I felt free as we swam around each other in circles. I made sure to tease him, staying just out of his reach.
He made a quick grab for me, and I let him catch me. “Oh, no,” I giggled. “What will you do with me now?”
His sea green eyes danced. “Anything I damn well want to.”
Desire shot through me like a lightning bolt. “I am yours.”
Pressing me against the side of the pool, I ran my legs around him, urging him to enter me. He did as I wanted, giving me the long, thick part of him that I was craving.
Sparks shot through me as I moaned and leaned my head on his shoulder as he moved me. Connected to him was the best feeling I ever had. Somehow, with him in that way, I felt more alive than I ever had. Each and every time we made love, it just got deeper and deeper, what I felt for him.
His kiss sent me spiraling down, unaware of anything but how his body felt, moving with mine. It was blissfully slow and steady and when the wave inside me crested, I moaned, “Jett, I love you so much.” Then the wave crashed, and he groaned as he released too.
“Baby, I love you too.”
We were still for a while, just holding one another. I rested my head on his shoulder as he ran his fingers lightly over my back. We didn’t need to say a thing to convey what we felt for each other. It was all there in our bodies. It was then that I knew I’d kill for the man. I’d do anything in the world for him. So what was I waiting for?
“Jett?”
“Yeah, baby?”
I pulled back to look at him, gazing into his eyes. “Do you really want to marry me?”
He pressed his finger to my lips. “Hush. I know I’ve been pushy about that. I know that you’ll do anything I want. And I don’t want you to marry me just because I want it. I’d like you to want it too. As a matter of fact, I don’t want to marry you right now. Not because I don’t love you. I love you more than I knew I could love anyone. But because I’ve seen that you are completely selfless where I’m concerned.”
All I could do was nod and rest my head on his shoulder again. He no longer wanted to marry me. I had no idea when he’d want to or if he’d want to.
Maybe my selfless act was a bad thing for us. Maybe I was giving too much of myself to him. I wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing. But it was done. I was in as deep as he was in the fake marriage.
There was a niggling notion in the back of my mind. One that said the fake marriage and the tower of lies would crumble, leaving us in the rubble of it all.
A tear slipped out of my eye as I held Jett tight in my arms, never wanting to let him go. Maybe if I just held on, things would never end. Nothing would change. He and I would become just like the other statues that highlighted our large yard. Frozen in time, the lovers who were doomed if they made any movements.
Like all things, that moment had to end. “I think we should think about eating dinner, Asia. What do you say to Chinese?”
My stomach growled at the thought, and he moved me in his arms, taking me out of the water. “I think my tummy is saying, yes.”
He chuckled as he grabbed a couple of towels and handed one to me. I wrapped it around me and followed him inside. All the while watching him as he strode along in front of me. And all the while wondering if I’d done the right thing.
But what else could we have done in the situation?
I had no idea what the answer to that was. I also had no idea what we’d do to make things legitimate. It seemed neither of us had an answer for that question.
Jett
As I watched Asia sleep the night before the wedding that would’ve been our last social occasion together, I felt that guilt that had come to be my constant companion. It moved like hot lava through me. Letting me know I had taken an innocent young woman and morphed her into something else. Something I didn’t want her to be.
Asia had become my fierce protector. Which sounds like a good thing, until you really think about it. She would hurt herself just to save me. I didn’t want her to do that.
