Page 46 of Treating a Sinful Earl
“I was determined from the start to keep a safe distance from Catherine, although I was instantly taken by her. This was due to my sickness. But now that I am feeling stronger and more like myself, I want nothing more than to have her, if she will have me.”
Felton’s eyebrows raised. He took his brandy over to a seat and plopped himself in it. “My friend, are you truly considering such a thing? I have never heard you speak so boldly about love.”
“She is everything that I have ever wanted,” Jasper went on. “When I am in her presence, it is as though there is some kind of magic. Does this feeling go on and on? For surely, it feels as though it will.”
Felton nodded and smiled. “The feeling can go on and on, but it must be nurtured to do so.”
Jasper instantly gleaned what his friend was saying but he had to ask, “What makes you so knowledgeable about love?”
“You might not believe this about me, but I have a keen understanding of it. Love must be nurtured within one’s heart and with one’s actions. You cannot rely upon love alone to sustain itself. Love is like a garden, and when it is consistently watered, there are flowering results.”
“So, what you are saying is, because I am a dying man, my love will die, as well.”
“Jasper, we are all dying men. That is what you do not understand. You think of your diagnosis as a death sentence, but it is a premature death sentence.”
Even though this concept was simple, it gave Jasper pause. Yes, sometimes he felt rather bad for himself and forgot that he was still alive, and that every man had a death sentence hanging above his head. So, did this mean that he should not use it as an excuse to never love? To never make himself vulnerable to another? All at once, Jasper was emboldened and proclaimed, “Then I shall make her my wife.”
This sent Felton into peals of laughter. “Headstrong fool, you have to make sure that Catherine wants this, as well.”
“Right.” Jasper scratched his chin. “Yes, she needs to be informed of this, as well.”
“Then inform her tonight!” Felton raised his glass. “Why tarry? I have already exposed my soul to Abigail, and although she not accepted, I will continue to do so until I wear her down.”
The two men broke into laughter once more, and Jasper was convinced that the medicine was working, for never had he been in such high spirits. Yes, he would reveal the truth to Catherine and share with her his intentions.
That is why, once they reached the ball and he beheld Catherine, Jasper was quite frustrated considering that there were so many people, and he would much rather be alone with her to share such sentiments. Still, he was overjoyed when he first viewed her in that stunning white gown with gold embroidery. She was a vision, as ever, but it was a very different vision than the wood nymph that he cherished.
They approached immediately, and Jasper was pleased to see the little crowd that had surrounded them disperse.
“Ladies,” Felton said with a bow of the head. “It is an honour, as ever.”
The ladies curtsied, and Jasper found that he could not take his eyes off of Catherine. He looked at Abigail but briefly.
“My lord, I am surprised that you came,” Catherine said, her eyes sparkling.
“I was not going to come, but my bothersome friend convinced me.”
“As did mine. I hope that you…received my letter.”
A wave of heat flooded his body as he thought of the letter. Yes, he had read it countless times, and the only thing that kept him from responding was that Jasper feared that letter would ask for her hand in marriage.
“I have it in my pocket,” Jasper smiled warmly.
Catherine flushed. “I must admit that I carry yours in my reticule. It is so silly, but I do it nonetheless.”
Yes, it was evident that perhaps her feelings for him were as strong as his were for her. But surely, she was not tortured in the same way that he was. For truly, he felt like the most tortured man in Christendom, whilst also being as light as air.
“I am pleased to hear that.” Jasper stepped in more closely so that his voice could be hushed. “There are words that I wish to share with you, but I fear that it is rather crowded in here, and it is not the right time.”
Catherine’s eyes opened wide. “Is something amiss? Has your health backtracked?”
He shook his head. “Nothing of the sort.”
“We could step out onto the veranda,” Catherine suggested, “as it is now a ritual of ours.”
Jasper was tempted, but even that felt futile. He wished to be entirely alone with her. After their strolls in the woods, he could accept no less. “Would you do me the great honour of walking with me again tomorrow?”
“Seeing as you show up unannounced, you need not ask.”
