Page 77 of Liberating Bells
The room has that first-day-of-school scent—like waxed floors, Clorox wipes, and freshly sharpened pencils. My stomach is still somewhat unsettled from my encounter with my fiancé earlier this morning, so much so that it's making it hard to focus. The words of my lesson plans keep running together, making me feel kind of queasy. I should have grabbed breakfast on the way, but I was more than ready to get out of that house this morning.I rest my forehead in the palm of my hand and close my eyes for a second.
A knock on my door has me startling as I push back my chair and stand up. The door cracks open, and a head of messy blonde-brown hair peeks through. Familiar green eyes gaze at me. The corners of my lips instinctually twitch up into a hesitant smile. I’m reminded of how awkward it was to see Ryan at the coffee shop a few weeks ago, but the way he’s looking at me now is as if that never happened.
“Knock, knock,” he says, opening the door wider until I can see all of him. Ryan is dressed in his work clothes, navy-blue slacks and a white button-down shirt. He has a brown paper bag in his hand and a to-go cup of coffee. He holds it up like a peace offering. “Are you busy, Miss Sanders?”
“I’m never too busy for my new favorite soccer coach,” I say, putting my hands on my hips, playing along. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought you a special first-day breakfast. And coffee. I hope you haven’t eaten yet,” he replies, holding up the bag to show me.
“Actually, no. I haven’t,” I say, surprised. “Thank you.” I reach for the bag and sit down at my desk, setting it in my lap. Ryan comes closer and places the coffee gingerly on my desk in front of me. I unfold the paper bag and pull out a blueberry scone wrapped in a smaller bag. “Oh, these are my favorite! You remembered!”
Ryan sticks his hands in his pockets and gives me a soft smile. “I remember everything about you, Bells. You’re hard to forget.”
“And is this…” I trail off, reaching for my coffee, and taking a sip. Warm silky caramel heaven hits my tongue, and I give Ryan an appreciative grin. “A caramel macchiato. You are amazing.”
He shrugs, “I try. I don’t understand the hype, though. That’s more sugar and milk than coffee.”
“Mmm, but it’s so good,” I say, taking another sip and closing my eyes with a soft moan. When I open them, I see Ryan staring at me. His eyes are heated, a small smirk playing on his lips.
“Did the boys have practice this morning?” I ask, changing the subject before breaking off a piece of my scone.
“Ah, no. I knew you’d be here today, so I just wanted to drop by on my way to work to bring you a treat. We have practice this afternoon, though.”
My heart flutters in my chest. Ryan’s office isn’t close to Bennett. He drove all the way across town just to bring me breakfast on my first day of school. How sweet of him.
“Does it feel weird being back here?”
Ryan looks around my room with a half-smile. “Yeah, kind of. I spent a lot of time in these classrooms. It feels different, but still familiar.”
I nod, knowing exactly what he’s talking about. I have only been back to my alma mater—Bennett’s sister school—Hawthorne Academy, a few times since graduating. But it felt exactly like that.
I reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear with my right hand. Ryan’s eyes immediately go to my wrist, and he whistles lowly, “That’s a statement piece if I’ve ever seen one.”
Rolling my eyes, I give a huff and don’t bother responding. Instead, I pop a crumbly piece of scone in my mouth and chew it, giving Ryan a pointed stare. Ryan sees my non-existent enthusiasm for my gift from Mark and gives me a tight smile, like he’s not sure what to do with this information.
“Okay, well, I better get going. I probably have a million emails to sort through,” he says. Then he nods toward my breakfast. “Enjoy. Maybe I’ll catch you at the end of the day.”
“Thank you again, Ryan. This made my whole day.”
Ryan shoots me a wink before stepping out of my room and closing the door. I settle back into my chair and scarf down the rest of my scone and coffee. This was exactly what I needed.
I lean back with a sigh. My fingers absentmindedly fiddle with the tennis bracelet on my wrist, and I glance down at it. It is definitely beautiful, but it feels like a shackle. My necklace feels like a constricting collar, as if Mark is staking his claim by throwing expensive jewelry at me and holding me hostage.
I have no interest in expensive jewelry. I don’t need to be adorned or worshipped with diamonds and jewels. My thoughts dart to the simple scone and coffee Ryan brought me this morning. That all probably cost him under $10. That’s the kind of gift I want. Simplistic, meaningful. I’ve never had to pretend to like any of Ryan’s gifts. He always knew exactly what I would like. He justknowsme.
Though my morning was greatly improved by Ryan stopping by, the last thought quickly brings down my mood.
I keep catching myself comparing Ryan to Mark, which I know is unfair because the two of them are so different.
The familiar feeling of regret settles in my chest and squeezes around my heart. Before I can talk myself out of it, I undo the clasp of the bracelet and then my necklace. Opening the top drawer of my desk, I lay the pieces inside with care and then close it. I’ll just have to remember to grab them before I leave work today. The minute the jewelry is off, my chest feels lighter, as if I can breathe again.
Now feeling free, I reach for my coffee again and take a sip, letting myself pretend just for the morning that I’m a girl who was brought a special first day of school treat by a man who cares about her deeply.
I ignore the pain in my chest telling me that’s exactly what happened, but I’m just too stupid to do anything to make it last.
28
RYAN
