Page 44 of Joker
“I understand, sweetheart. I don’t like it. I want you and Beau close. I’ve missed so much time with you both, but I’m not going to be selfish and put my needs before yours. I just need you both safe. We will talk to Prez and see if he knows of somewhere safe and protected so you can still have your freedom and peace, but are safe too.”
Throwing my arms around his waist, I snuggle into his chest. He wraps his big arms around me and kisses the top of my head. I’ve missed my daddy so much.
“I’ll always try to do what is best for you and help you in any way I can. I love you,” Dad says softly.
“I love you too, Dad, thank you.”
Taking a moment to compose myself and enjoy being with my dad, I pull away.
“Come on. I think Prez is in his office. Let’s go see him now,” Dad says.
Walking through the clubhouse, we knock on the office door.
“Come in,” answers Prez.
Walking in, I let Dad take the lead.
“Got a sec BJ?”
“Sure, you two, what’s up?” he says.
Dad explains how my therapy is going and how I need to stand on my own two feet.
His reply irritates me.
“Carrie, have you spoken to Joker about this?”
Looking down, I try to think of the right words to use.
“With all due respect, it’s not his decision. I’m not going to stop him from seeing Beau. I would never do that. I need this for my own sanity. Joker and I are not together. I need to provide for Beau and me.”
With a nod of his head, he clasps his hands together.
“I understand that Carrie, and that’s not why I asked. Joker came to us with an idea. We bought the land to the west of the clubhouse and have been building houses on it. The first house should be ready in the next week or so. That house is yours and Beau’s,” he says as a matter of fact.
Completely shocked, I start to open my mouth, but then close it again. I don’t know what to say. Joker has done this for us. He’s ensured I have my own space and freedom, but I’m still safe. Tears fill my eyes.
“I didn’t know,” I sniffle.
Dad reaches for me and holds me tight.
“That boy loves you and Beau. He’s going to want you safe,” continues Prez.
Nodding, I take a few minutes to get a hold of my emotions.
“Pip was planning on taking you shopping for furniture in the next few days and to see Nitro about the paint too.”
“Thank you, Prez. I need a job now to pay for all the stuff I’m going to need for the house. This means so much to me,” I add.
Nodding his head, he gives my dad a look.
“Leave the job with me. I’ll see what I can do. The furniture is all paid for. You just need to choose what you like.”
Feeling a little shocked, I thank Prez and leave Dad in his office. I need to lie down.
Back in my room, I curl up on the bed and take a few deep breaths. This is a lot to take in. I understand their need to keep Beau and me safe after everything that had happened, but I also need them to talk to me. I’m more than capable of making decisions for myself. So much was out of my control, and so many choices were taken away from me. I need to be in control of my life. I need to explain to Joker how this has made me feel. Feeling a little calmer, I head out to find Joker. I find him in the main room with some of the brothers.
“Joker, do you have a minute, please? I need to talk with you.”
