Page 76 of When Sinners Rise
That’s when I notice that beyond the car Logan brought us in, on the perimeter, is a familiar car. I can’t make him out behind the glass; it’s too far, but it’s him. I know it’s him, and I know that car. He always said he wanted to make sure we were safe. It makes sense he’d want to make sure Cane held up his end of the bargain. But something crushes my heart in my chest as I watch him watch us. And the tears I’d gotten under control resurface again because we didn’t have to say goodbye. It wasn’t the only option.
My jaw tightens as I fight my emotions from running wild.
“Come on, sweety. Let’s get on board.” Willow ushers me up the steps of the private plane. When I reach the top, I can’t not look back. The wind picks up and whips my hair around my face, but I can still see the car waiting.
“Miri.” Naja’s tone is stern, and I glare at her as my heart pounds in my chest. The seconds tick on, and I still can’t move. It feels as if the weight of everything we’ve been through is compressing me on the spot, stopping me from moving.
It’s too late. We can’t turn back now. He’s made his choice.
Finally, I turn and walk inside the plane and flump down in the first leather chair I see.
Willow follows and takes a seat opposite me. I look out the small cabin window, keeping my eyes away from her. I don’t want her to see how upset I am because there’s no reason for it, is there? He was just a bad guy who took me. Not someone to fall for. He said that – they were his words.
“Do you need anything? Something to eat? Drink?” she asks.
“She’ll ask if she wants anything,” Landon states as he walks past, pulls Willow from her seat, and puts her into the next bank of chairs. He looks at me, his eyes hard, and I wonder if he’s mad that he’s been drawn into this after all. Somehow, though, his face doesn’t seem to send the same sense of fear or intimidation through me as it once used to. Maybe because I’ve seen so much worse now.
Naja sits down in the seat across from me, but I’m not ready to talk. I keep my gaze set on the window.
He didn’t want me. He didn’t ask me to stay or try to come with us. He just shut the door on me and let us drive off.
It stings. More than I thought possible for a man I considered the enemy only a few weeks ago. What is he to me now? Not my enemy. Not anything if it was so easy for him to shove me in the car and drive off. I thought we were more than that, and in a crazy way, I thought he felt the same about me.
Was it all a lie? Everything?
No. I can’t think like that, or I’ll fall apart and never be able to mend the pieces back together.
It’s over, anyway. I’m fleeing across the Atlantic to escape like he’s the problem, never to see him again.
My chest aches at that realisation, spreading out and down my limbs as I stay motionless in my seat. This shouldn’t be happening. It’s cruel that I feel like this for someone who has no place in my life. He might not even have a place in this worldif his family gets hold of him. They’ll kill him for what he did for me like they killed Jackson for what he did for Naja. He knows it.
Maybe… maybe that’s why he pushed me into the car.
Because there’s no future for us.
My hand shakes as I raise it to push a tear from my cheek.
I try to block everything out and only pay attention to the motion and sound of the jet engine, but although it helps numb my mind and lets me drift into a weary emotional stupor, I’m not sure anything will be different when I wake.
~
There’s little talk in the car as we travel to Earlwood. It feels like there are no words left to speak right now. Willow stopped trying to get me to talk on the flight over, although I feel cruel for not speaking to her like we did before. But, as has been highlighted so brightly, it’s hard to stay the same person you were before being kidnapped, especially if it’s for the second time in your life.
Naja slept, or at least pretended to. It made it easier. I couldn’t begin to unravel the words I wanted to say with my feelings all over the place. Hurt and pain are achingly acute, but I’m also relieved and grateful that we have her back.
As we drive up to the house, there’s finally some sense of comfort, something I didn’t think I’d ever feel here. If there’s one thing I can take from this, it's that the people that Naja left me with have become my family – and with Naja rescued, we’re not on our own now.
It’s a big consolation prize – one I need to hold onto for dear life.
“Your room’s ready for you,” Willow says as I get out of the car.
“Thank you.”
She takes my hand and doesn’t let it go. “And we have a guest room made up for you, Naja.”
She nods as we all walk up to the house.
Landon’s been ominously quiet. I have no doubt that he’ll make his thoughts clear to me in his own time. I smile to myself as I realise I’m happy about this – a sign of normalcy amongst all the chaos.
