Page 70 of When Sinners Rise
“Maybe. But this way, I know you’re safe until Landon has you. Logan’s about the only person my family won’t try going through.”
In no time, we’re outside a pizza restaurant. Shaw holds the door for me, and I go in. It’s impossible not to smile. Maybebecause it’s such a simple thing to do – go for a meal – but after everything we’ve been through, it feels special.
We’re shown to a cosy table and given an enormous menu, blocking our view of one another.
We both order pizza and a beer, and the barricades between us are taken away.
I look over at Shaw. He still looks tired. Haunted, even.
“Do you remember our first date?” I ask, wanting to rid the look from him.
“Hmm. I do. But what do you count as our first date?” He grins, and the man I first met at the bar is suddenly back in front of me.
“Tequila night. I know it wasn’t a date technically, but it was the start.”
“That’s dangerous talk, Miri. We’re not in any position to talk about starting anything.”
“Yet here we still are.” The words fizzle, falling flat.
He shakes his head. “Landon will come for you. Then you can start your life again.”
“It’s not that easy. You keep talking about going back to my life, but London isn’t where my life was.”
“It looked like you were doing just fine when we met. You had a good job, opportunity, friends. I know you had a shit deal, but don’t overlook those things.”
It’s been so long since I’ve thought about the rest of my life back in London and what will be waiting for me. I always felt so hard done by, as if the world owed me something and what happened. I should have been more grateful for my second chance.
“Maybe.”
“Okay, then tell me, what would you do if you could do anything or go anywhere?” I look at him, a little lost at even where to start. “Come on, you must have dreams?”
“Dreams, well, they seem to be shifting. I wanted to go off to university and have fun, study, and become a lawyer. Beyond that, I hadn’t thought too closely. Then, all I wanted was to get Naja back.”
“You’ve got that, now. So, what next? The whole world is at your feet, so let’s start with where first.”
“Somewhere hot. And quiet. An island somewhere.” I try to imagine what it might be like not to worry or fear anything. Not to react and jump into fight mode if someone bumps into you, or dissolve into panic at a memory. It’s pretty.
Our beers arrive, and I take a sip of mine. “What about you? Where would you go?”
He laughs, but it’s a sombre sound. “Well, if we’re playing that game, I suppose somewhere as far away from the world I’ve grown up in as possible. Somewhere old, with culture, simple. I could do quiet. It might be nice to feel peace.”
“Italy or a Greek island?” I offer. “Did you ever travel when you were a child?”
“No. There was nothing glamorous about growing up a Cortez. Didn’t mean I didn’t want something else, though. Didn’t ever sit well. Fought it the way I could, but that just riled up my family.”
There are more questions I want to ask about his family, but I know that won’t make for a good conversation. “How old are you?” I ask.
“Twenty-Five.”
“You speak like you’re an old man, sometimes. Maybe you need a holiday,” I tease him.
The pizzas arrive, two enormous dishes, big enough that a separate table is pushed against ours so they can be placed down.
“I’m never going to finish this,” I say, staring at the feast.
“Oh, I bet you can do better than you think. I’ve seen you eat pizza before, remember.”
“Us and pizza have a complicated history,” I reply, not wanting to be dragged back into the nightmare that followed that evening.
