Page 70 of Cowboy Stole My Heart
Mia wriggled, tucked her chin to his chest and gazed at him. She couldn’t believe how much had changed between them. When she’d first met him, she’d been full of anticipation and he’d ended up coming across as a too-confident asshole, but now? She’d seen a different side to him, a warmer, more loving side. The same side that she guessed all of the animals he worked with got to experience.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, stroking her face, his fingers skimming her skin.
Mia sighed, lost in his dark brown gaze, more content than she’d ever felt. “That I love you,” she said simply, before realizing the words had come out of her mouth.
Sam stiffened and he pushed up, sitting up in bed now, eyes still locked on hers. She reached for the sheet, pulling it over her breasts and staring at him. Shit. Why hadshe said that? Why had those three little words spilled from her like they were the most natural thing in the world to say? But they were true, she knew in her heart they were probably the truest words she’d ever said, even if she was regretting ever letting them spill out now that she could see the horrified look on Sam’s face.
“Mia,” Sam started, but she shook her head, refused to let him continue.
“Is it that big of a deal?” she asked, knowing that it was because she’d never said it before to a man. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but it’s how I feel.”
“The problem is that wehada deal,” he said, voice so low it was more like a whisper. “Mia, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“So?” she said, not seeing what the problem was, her face heating up, embarrassment rising. “We had a deal, but what we have, it’s so much more than that. Tell me I haven’t been imagining it? Tell me that you still feel the same about me as you did when we first slept together?”
Sam pushed the covers off his legs and stood, looking at her like she was… she groaned. She didn’t even know what. He looked like she’d just told him that she had a sexually transmitted infection, not that she loved him!
“The problem is we’re not supposed to be doing this!” he said, running a hand through his hair, standing naked and staring at her. “This was supposed to be—”
“Fuckyou, Sam,” she swore, clutching the sheet tightly to herself. “I just said what I was feeling. I’m sorry you find my honesty so hard to accept.”
He gave her a long look before grabbing his boxers and jeans and starting to get dressed. He didn’t look at her again, just methodically got dressed and located his things like he needed to escape in a hurry.
“So you’re leaving, just like that?” she asked. “You’re walking out on me like I’m not good enough for you? This is what I get for opening up to the man I’ve been sharing my bed with?”
He barely looked at her, a quick glance before staring at the wall behind her, and she felt the hot sting of tears piercing her eyes. She felt used and dirty and unloved, and now she knew why she was supposed to hold that part of herself back, why she should never have let herself fall so hard for Sam. He’d wanted her for a good time, not a long time, and she’d been so caught up in how she was feeling that she’d forgotten how damn clear he’d been about it.
“Yeah, I think I need to go,” he said quickly. “It’d be better to make this a clean break.”
“Why won’t you ever stay over? Is because I asked you again, or is it because I told you I loved you?” she asked, furious that he wouldn’t even make eye contact with her. She was on her knees on the bed, sheet still covering her, palm itching to slap into his cheek. “Tell me Sam! I deserve to know, goddamn it!”
“What we had was just sex, Mia,” he said coldly, finally meeting her gaze. “If you thought it was more than something physical, then I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure we set out clear ground rules from the start, and it was never my intention to lead you on.”
She gulped, wondering who the hell the stranger of a man before her even was. His voice was so flat, so unemotional, so unlike the man she’d just spent the past three weeks with. “Maybe I thought that was okay, at the start, but you can’t help the way you feel.” The words were hard to push out but she forced them, needing to hurt him, wanting to elicit some kind of response from him. “Is it so wrong that I was honest with you?”
He didn’t reply, and she shouted at him, so angry she wanted to hurt him.
“Tell me you don’t feel the same, or are you just a goddamn coward?” Mia didn’t believe him, didn’t believe that this side of him was the true Sam. She’d lain in his arms, been loved by him, caressed by him, cared for by him. The Sam she knew was not this heartless asshole of a man! What the hell was going on with him?
His smile was cold and never reached his eyes. “I just don’t feel the same,” he said simply, before collecting his shirt and turning to walk out of the room. “I’m sorry Mia, but it’s true.”
Mia stuffed her fist to her mouth, a sob stammering in her throat, choking her as she refused to let it out. She waited, quivering, in silence until she heard the click of her front door. She slowly pulled her hand from her face, the sobs guttural, the sound of her pain howling around her as she sunk down into her covers. The bed was warm from their bodies, it still smelled like Sam, the sheets on his side rumpled, the pillows still bunched from where he’d been pressed against them.
She cried like she’d never cried before, her face wet as she buried herself into the feather pillow, curling her body tight as she fought wave after wave of fresh pain. Sam had changed her. Sam had made her finally open herself to another human being, made her show her vulnerabilities and trust in someone else.
She wanted to hate him, but all she could see was his smile, all she could feel was his warm breath against her skin, his hard body pressed to hers as he scooped against her in bed.
But Sam was gone.
She sobbed, more quietly now, her body no longerheaving like it had only moments earlier. She clutched the covers tight and shut her eyes.Now she could see him. Now she could see the ice-cold gaze, could conjure the image of him standing there, about to leave.
He was no better than any other guy who’d wanted her for her money, in fact he might even be worse. Because Sam had pretended to care, pretended that he didn’t want anything from her, then he’d lured her in, made her fall in love with him, and made her think he was falling, too. She’d known the ground rules, but the way he’d been with her had made her think they’d both been falling, pushing the boundaries at the same time.
Mia refused to open her eyes. She didn’t even bother flicking the bedside lamp off or going to lock her door. When her cat leapt onto the bed, she felt him snuggle against her legs but she didn’t greet him or emerge from where she was hiding. The covers were over her head, the pain inside of her was only getting worse, like a knife slowly being inched deeper into her heart, and she wasn’t going to move until morning.
She was never going to let herself be hurt like that again, not by Sam or any other man. She’d learnt her lesson, and the only person she could ever rely on was herself. He might have seen the real her, might have seen her for who she was and what she stood for, but in the end, it hadn’t made him any different than any of the jerks she’d been with in the past. They might have wanted her money, but Sam had only wanted her for sex; not one man had ever wanted her just for her and it hurt like a motherfucker.
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