Page 29 of My Turn Petal
He drags his lips back up and makes a pop sound as he releases me. “I like a sweet dessert after dinner.”
Hot blood pumping in my veins.
I resume to pleasure myself under his fixated gaze. The tunes escape my throat as I’m getting closer to the edge.
Two pleasures consume me; the food he keeps filling my mouth with and the lapping circles of my fingers around my clit.
“Push a finger inside your pussy.” I flick my lidded eyes flat open.
I know it is such a trivial thing to most people yet for me even that is an issue. Somedays it works a tiny bit, other days it doesn’t.
Sensing my hesitation, he holds my face, “I’m here with you.”
“I can’t,” my voice is nearly a whisper.
He brushes his thumb against my cheek. “Just the tip.”
Nodding, I take a deep breath and then another.
“You can quit at any point.” He finishes before he leans back in his chair.
I occupy my brain with the sensation on my clit while I line a finger against my opening. My mind mutes when I slide it in as much as I can.
It’s just the tip and it’s not that my fingers are big.
The grazing feels so good that my eyes shut down, knowing my finger is there makes my inner walls start to spasm.
“You’re doing so well, petal.” His voice sounds like a warm hug. “Look at you, so gorgeous when you come.”
A few pumps inside me while I brush my clit and I’m convulsing around nothing as the orgasm quakes through my body.
“Fuck, Theo.” I swim as the orgasm washes all over me, tossing my head back. My teeth bite down on my bottom lip as I enjoy this release. “Mmm.”
Warmth fills my core and my chest as Theo’s lips press to my forehead. He gives me a quick kiss and hands me a bottle of water.
“Such a good girl.” He claims.
My eyelids unlock in time to see him licking his lips.
The wave of carnal desire washes the tides between us.
The tension his eyes project enthralls me and I already want to play with him again. See where we can go with our mutual desire.
His throaty laugh echoes in the compact space of my apartment. “You like that, huh?”
“Orgasms?!” I chug down some water, “Yes I do.”
“No,” he cackles again, “I meant praise.”
“Most definitely!” I slant my gaze to the side, needing a second to catch my breath and fix my thoughts.
The last time I was this happy was when I managed to get a breakthrough. It just happened, I was so thrilled but it quickly faded when I panicked after five minutes of redemption. Orgasms are no problem, I have a lot of them. The only problem is my intrinsic fear that paralyzed me into believing, I can’t be penetrated because I’m broken.
This issue controls my sexual life and I hate it.
I hate being a grown woman who feels like a timid child.
I hate not having options or opportunities to do all the things I’m dying to explore.
