Page 62 of Mark Us Little Bear
“A little less than two years until then, do you think it’s achievable?”
My eyes move between them and I feel that powerful pull that always draws me to them. A bond? All I know is that I feel safe around them and it’s new to me because I always felt like I needed to be someone else’s shelter and protect the ones I love.
“I think so. I don’t know about kids, it’s too soon but to have my own family doesn’t seem so impossible.”
Bradley laces his hand through mine. “I want the same relationship I had with my dad. I hope to be at least half as good a father as he was to me.”
“I have no doubt you will be amazing dads,” Amber whispers against us. “I didn’t realize this could be so therapeutic, thank you. I feel safe with the both of you because I know you won’t hurt me.”
“I feel the same.”
Bradley kisses her head, “Me too.”
“Life is about daring to do things even if they are not perfect. I always said it to myself before I came to the city but now I truly believe it.” She adds with a little sigh of contentment.
“I think I should call Naomi. Seeing you with your siblings made me a little jealous.” I confess.
“Who’s Naomi?” Bradley lowers his voice, sounding confused.
“My older sister.”
“Your older sister,” he pulls back slightly and stares at me in surprise, so I kiss the tip of his nose.
“Where is she?” Amber asks, blinking up at me with her thick lashes and those gorgeous eyes.
“In California, she lives there with her husband. We were very close but when she moved things changed, it’s inevitable, we talk every month but we have busy schedules so it’s very brief.”
They glance at each other and say, “We can’t wait to meet her.”
Bradley
Covered in dry tears, we sit on the stairs laughing at ourselves, it quickly becomes a sigh and hers follows.
I’m amused as always by Amber’s conflicted emotions. One minute she’s soft the next she’s angry, making the cutest pout, then she cries, laughs, and goes back to being tender.
“You kids are something else,” Mom’s voice filters in. “I waited until you were done and I have to say that it was pretty spectacular. Oscar nomination.” She shoots us her “I’m amazed” look, Amber covers her eyes in embarrassment and we continue to laugh even harder as Mom lowers next to me. “Don’t be embarrassed I thought it was adorable. I’m proud of you for talking it out.” She gently tries to convince Amber to remove her hands.
“This is your special day and your house, it was wrong of us to do it.”
“Nonsense,” Mom flips her hand dismissively, pushing her mouth to the side. “I like to believe Drew had some kind of intervention in today’s events, plus, you’re Bradley’sspecialroommates.“ A hint of longing reflects in her voice before she wiggles her eyebrows funnily.
I screw my face into a grimace, “Ugh, worst choice of words ever, I’m still beating myself for it.” I lean against the wall, stretching my numb leg a bit.
“What did your dad always tell you?” Mom asks.
“Wash your dishes,” I turn my head back to her, chuckling. “I couldn’t help myself.”
Their laughs drag longer and Mom rolls her eyes, sticking her tongue to her palate to make that tsk sound.
“Not that but yeah, he always wanted you to take care of things yourselves. Be responsible. Be grownups. But still have a childhood. What is the other thing he told you?” Her finger traces the Dad tattoo on my wrist.
“Be whatever makes you happy,” I recall.“I will always be proud of you no matter what you do. No matter where you go or who you go with. You’re my son. There is no length to which I wouldn’t go to see you happy. I love you, Bradley. You made me a dad and I swore to love and honor that.”
Sobbing in my mother’s arms, I let it all out. All of the happiest memories with him roll down my cheek—one after the other.
“It’s okay my baby. I miss him too.” She rubs my back and kisses my head. “The beautiful thing about heartbreak is that your heart still works afterward, and you will love again with each one. Maybe stronger, louder, even deeper. It’ll imprint your soul and you’ll be able to experience the most beautiful things.” When she pulls away her eyes glisten with fresh tears.
“My dad was the first to know I like boys and girls. I told him they all excite me. And he saidthen you better excite them back.“ I chuckle as I reminisce. “My dad asked the first guy I brought to the house how much I excited him from one to ten. The poor guy said five. My dad saidget out of my house, my son deserves a ten.“ Tears trickle down my face and little laughs permeatethe space. “He was always like that, jokes around the clock, the biggest entertainer with the biggest heart.”
