Page 82 of Mark Us Little Bear
“She was more carefree, less uptight, but… it’s not her fault. After she lost the baby, her depression worsened but Dad had to step up, more than he already did. He helped her with everything and took care of me.”
“Then, I came, six years later.” She says with a small smile.
“And she was so happy. The light in her eyes returned when she had you.” But I always lost her to someone and had to watch her slipping farther away from me so I decided to get away from her, and even that didn’t work.
“It sucks that you go back soon.”
“I don’t know what to do.” That’s the truth. “Maybe I can’t go back. My life is too messy and complicated, I can’t even afford to be there.” The air doesn’t come in quickly enough as my face heats up.
“Amber, calm down.” She tries to catch my wrists as I jump out of bed and start pacing the room.
I don’t want to live here with Mom. I don’t even want to come home. I want to find myself, and a year was barely enough to scratch the surface. But on the other hand, I don’t have a choice.
I stop short of Kat’s bed. “I have nothing to go back to.”
“Nothing?”
I snap my gaze to the door where Ronnie stands. The hurt in his eyes squeezes at my heart and twists my stomach as my legs remain rooted to the floor.
“That’s not what I meant.” My mouth goes dry. I’m so frustrated and lost with work but I am serious about us. “Kat, can you give us a moment?”
“Sure.” She quietly exits.
“What did you mean?” His voice is soft yet loaded. Eyes study me carefully.
“Two and a half weeks ago when I went to your room back at your apartment, I cried because I got fired. I didn’t say anything because you already helped me and I didn’t want to take advantage of you. I promised to help you for free until you could find someone and I meant it. I can’t afford to stay in your apartment. If I’m being honest, I can’t afford anything. It was so sudden I was shocked that they let me go after saying I was their best employee.” I know I’m speaking a mile a minute but I need to get this off my chest.
My eyes are fixed on my shoes.
“I feel like I have nothing to offer and it eats me inside.”
“Amber...” Arms wrap around me. “It’s okay. I’ll help you.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.” I try to wriggle out of his embrace but he tucks me closer.
“You don’t have to because I’m not leaving Staten Island without you. You either come with me or I’m staying.”
“Ronnie be serious.”
“I am. Dead serious.” He cups my cheeks and looks into my eyes. “Luka and I learned a lesson when we were kids. Family is the most important thing andfamily memberscome from everywhere. When we see something we want, we go all in. We invest in it. Because in the end, that is all we leave behind. A handful of memories with the people we love. I admit I forgot it too for a while, but when you and Bradley entered my life it all floated right back.”
“I’m tired of feeling like I’m drowning all the time.” When will I catch a break?
He takes my hand in his. “I know. It’s time to resurface and figure it out, together.”
“Yeah,” Bradley crosses the room, “We’re a team. Besides there’s more to life than work.”
“So you say I should stay unemployed…?”
“Not exactly,” he chuckles, “But if you need time to figure things out, we will help you.”
“Your first step was to agree to come live with us and you will find yourself if you give it time. Your room was unoccupied before you moved there and I never planned to have roommates it just happened with you two so it’s yours, for free, for as long as you want and we’ll cover for you.”
I don’t know what to say… “I’m sorry I kept this from you.”
“Amber, it’s okay to be lost and it’s okay to ask for help. We will be there for you no matter what.” Bradley promises and caresses my cheek as a huge smile takes over. “Let’s go, my mom made lunch. I already told Kat to go there.”
As we are about to head downstairs, my phone pings in my hand. My smile slightly fades as I see the name on the screen.
