Page 43 of Letters From a Broken Heart
I know there’s a good chance you’ll never be able to look at me again without thinking of that day. You might always associate me with pain and misery. I'm sorry if that’s the case. I’ll do anythingI can to help you through this. To prove you can still have a happy life even without Jack in it.
I’d give you the world on a silver platter if you let me, Taylor. You just need to let me back into your life and stop pushing me away.
-E
“I didn’t mean to push you away,” I whisper as I slip my hand into Easton’s. “I was just so miserable. I didn’t know how to cope with all of it. I don’t think I realized how much guilt I’d feel over receiving someone’s heart, especially Jack’s.”
“I understand why you did it. I just couldn’t lose you. You’re all I have and I knew if I lost you, I wouldn’t be able to keep going.”
“You’ll never lose me as long as I can help it.”
“Good. I think you’re almost done.” He nudges the notebook. “I’ll be only a few more minutes working, then we can go to bed.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Taylor,
That delivery girl… It was awkward. She was staring at me like I was a piece of meat and she was a starving tiger. I’ve never felt so… uncomfortable? I guess that’s the best way to describe it.
The entire time, I kept thinking ‘I wish Taylor would look at me like this’. And it’s true. I wish you’d look at me the way the creepy delivery girl was looking at me. I wish you’d tell me how attractive you think I am and beg me to date you.
Daily, I wonder what my life would be like right now if I had gotten to you before Jack did. If he hadn’t knocked down the tools in the garage and I hadn’t taken the time to clean them up. If I had rushed out of there and found you first, would we be friends or something more?
These are the questions that keep me awake at night. The what ifs that hauntmy dreams.
But we’ll never know what could’ve been.
-E
“Oh my gosh!” I burst out laughing as I read the second to last entry. “You were so awkward when you answered the door to that poor delivery girl!”
“Listen, everyone was awkward in that situation. Who tells some random guy if they go on a date they don’t need to pay for their pizza?”
“A woman not afraid to go after what she wants. And she wanted you.” I smirk, wiggling my eyebrows.
“I’ve only had my sights set on one girl my entire life. Now, she’s finally mine and I'm not letting go.”
Taylor,
When you were sitting in my lap, playing with my hair… It took everything in me to keep my hands to myself. Over the years, you’ve complained when you tried to run your fingers through my hair and I’d stop you. I didn’t stop you because I cared how my hair looked, even if that’s what I always told you.
I did it because having you that close and touching me like that, it was too difficult to remember you weren’t mine and you never would be.
I'm not going to stop you anymore. I’ll let you touch me however you want and pray one day you’ll feel the same way about me as I do about you. Though I'm not going to hold my breath. I think I already lost my chance with the woman of my dreams.
-E
“You haven’t written anything in a week?”
“Nah, I’ve been too busy with you to worry about writing you letters.” He grins.
“I want you to keep writing them.” I move so I'm sitting on my knees and stare at him.
“Seriously? Why?”
“Because you’ve documented our love story! Every time we got mad at each other. Every time we got to do something special together. It’s all here, Easton! I love it. Will you please keep going?”
“For you, I’d do anything.Now, let’s go to bed.”
