Page 17 of The Goat in the Bedroom
I felt my throat tighten. I'd watched this family support each other through everything, showing up for each other in ways that my own family had never quite managed.
“Now you're all heading out into the world to build your own lives,” Bridger continued. “And I think your mother would want you to take a piece of that love with you wherever you go.”
Bridger signaled to the women who all walked over to where Liam and George were hovering behind the counter, clearly having been let in on whatever was about to happen. George handed a box out to Aunts May, June, and Kik. Then two each to Nana Evie and Grandma De le Reine.
“Your grandmothers and aunts,” Bridger said, “have been very busy.”
He nodded to Grandma Helene, who set a box in front of Chris. The eldest Kingman brother lifted the lid off the box and pulled out an embroidered throw pillow. It looked exactly like the lucky pillow, with the same careful stitching and lovingdetail, except this one said “Christopher” in elegant script at the bottom.
“In this house, we bleed green,” Chris read aloud. Then his face went through about six different emotions before settling on something that looked suspiciously like tears.
One by one, each brother pulled out pillows. Each one carried the same message, the same love, the same connection to their mother and their family. By the time he got to Hayes, there were tears streaming down several faces, and I was fighting to keep my own emotions in check.
This was what family looked like. This was the kind of love that followed you wherever you went. This was what I'd been searching for my entire life without knowing it.
Finally, Bridger took the last box from his sister, Aunt Kik, and handed it to Jules.
She lifted the lid off a box one last time and pulled out the final pillow. But this one was different. Instead of the usual green pillow, it was white, but with the same words embroidered across it. “In this house, we bleed,” but it had a blank space where the word “green” should be.
“And for Jules,” Bridger said, his voice thick with emotion now, “who's about to go out into the world and decide for herself what she believes in, what she fights for, what matters to her, this blank space is yours to fill in however you choose.”
Jules was full-on crying now, holding out the pillow with trembling hands. “Dad,” she whispered.
“Your mother would be so proud of the woman you're becoming,” Bridger said, pulling his daughter into a hug. “All of you. She'd be so proud of who you've become and the people you've chosen to share your lives with.”
The mention of chosen people made my chest tighten with emotion. This family had welcomed me in and made me part oftheir traditions, had included me in their chaos and their love without asking for anything in return.
“I love you all,” Bridger said, and somehow his words seemed to include everyone at the table, even the honorary members like me.
As people started gathering their things, Liam appeared at our table with George right behind him.
“Before you two head off to California,” Liam said, “we've got some friends out there we want you to meet.”
“Sean and Ren,” George added. “They're good people. Been together a few years, know the LA scene inside and out.”
“We may have already told them to keep an eye out for a couple of honorary nephews who might need some guidance navigating the queer community out there,” Liam said with a grin.
“That's really thoughtful,” Artie said. “It'll be nice to have some connections.”
“They'll make sure you actually get out and meet people instead of turning into hermits,” George said, giving me a pointed look.
People started gathering their things quietly, but Gryff didn't move for a long time. His knees bounced and squeezed the edges of his pillow, rubbing his thumbs over the soft green fibers at the corners.
When almost everyone was gone, he blurted out. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I couldn't ever remember seeing him like this before.
Was he about to back out of moving to LA? I think I might have after all of that. To feel that rooted, that much like this was home, that unconditional love was a compelling reason to stay put.
I wouldn't blame him one bit.
“Let's go outside.” He nodded toward a small patio area beside the building, strung with lights and furnished with a couple of tables and chairs. It was quiet there, away from the noise of the family saying their goodbyes.
“That was beautiful,” I said, settling into one of the chairs. “The pillow ceremony. Your dad is amazing.”
“Yeah,” Gryff agreed, but he seemed distracted, looking anywhere but at me. “Artie, I need to ask you something.”
“Okay,” I said carefully. This wasn’t my sunshiny best friend asking. The nervousness in his voice was making my chest clench.
