Page 107 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
“I want to move on from this,” he says, and finally makes eye contact with me. “Do you?” He appears to be holding his breath as he waits for my response.
“Yes. God, yes.”
He reaches out, palming my cheek in his warm hand. “Are you sure? If you … if you still have feelings for him then I … I’ll walk away and let you have that.”
“I want you.”
And I do. I love Jameson. He’s made my life better. He’s the one I chose years ago when I walked away from Spencer. He’s who I choose now.
A small, sad smile plays on his lips. “Okay.”
I lay my hand over top of his on my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he says, tears swimming in his eyes. “Don’t break my heart.”
“I won’t,” I swear.
But something sits heavy and leaden in my stomach, and I worry that I might’ve made a promise I can’t keep.
CHAPTER 39
SPENCER
EIGHT YEARS AGO
Harlow’s eyes glimmer as she blows out the candles on her birthday cake. I have little doubt what she’s wished for, and nerves assault my stomach. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans.
Her mom plucks out the candles and lays them on a paper plate before cutting into the cake.
Willa couldn’t make it home for Harlow’s birthday, so it’s only her parents, me, and two of her girlfriends. It’s already been decided after cake we’ll head to the pier.
What Harlow doesn’t know is we’re not actually going to the pier. Instead, I booked a hotel for us. I already went by and checked in before coming here so I could set the place up with flameless candles and flower petals. It might be over the top and cringey, but it’s my first time too, and I want it to be memorable for her. The keycard to the room seems to burn a hole in my pocket.
I take my slice of cake when her mom hands it to me with a plastic fork stuck on top. I’m not sure how I’m going to stomach the cake when I feel so nervous.
I manage to get a few bites down and then claim I’m too full of the pizza we had.
When we finally head out to leave, her dad reminds me to have her back before midnight.
“No problem, sir,” I reply, and hope he doesn’t notice the quiver in my voice.
Opening the passenger door to my car, I let Harlow climb in before I go around and get in the driver’s side. I start the car up and turn to her.
“We’re not going to the pier.”
“We’re not?” A smile dances on her lips, threatening to consume her face.
I shake my head. “No.” I fish the keycard out of my pocket and hand it to her. Her smile is full blown this time.
“A hotel? Is this for what I think it’s for?”
I nod.
She lets out an excited scream and throws her arms around my shoulders. “Finally!”
I chuckle. “You’re not nervous?” I ask her.
“No.” She shakes her head, seeming surprised I would even ask. “It’s you and I trust you. Why? Are you nervous?”
