Page 124 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
“No,” I admit, and I hate that it’s never occurred to me. I know he takes her places, she tells me about it, so it’s not like they’re holed up and hiding away from the paparazzi.
“Exactly.”
“Are you saying I’ve been irrational?” I whisper the question, because holy shit,haveI?
“No,” he answers, not an ounce of judgment in his tone or mocking. “You’ve been a mom.”
“We were so young,” I whisper, nearly choking on the words. “I was so scared. I didn’t want to fuck anything up.”
“I know.” He nods. “Frankly, we were too young, but life happens, and I wouldn’t trade Roe for anything.”
“I wouldn’t either.” Even though it’s been hard, and set my life on an entirely different path, I wouldn’t change it.
“Let’s eat and just leave the past where it belongs, okay?” I appreciate the fact that he’s giving me an out.
“Okay,” I agree.
We’ve hashed these things out many times before, and I suppose there really is no point in continuing to obsess over it. The past is the past and there’s no going back and changing it.
Spencer dishes me up a bowl of the pasta and grabs garlic bread out of the oven.
“Do you want to move to the dining room,” I ask him, ready to pick up my bowl and move.
“Nah.” He pulls out the stool beside mine. “This is fine. It’s cozier.” He winks. It’s true, though. It’s impossible for our arms not to brush with every small movement.
“Take a bite.” He points to my bowl. “Tell me what you think.”
I pick up fork and spear a bite even though my appetite appears to have fled thanks to our previous topic of conversation.
I chew and swallow down a bite, nodding in impressed surprise. “That’s delicious. Truly. You’re right that it’s better than restaurant alfredo.”
He grins, eyes twinkling with pleasure. “I’m glad you like it.”
When we’ve finished eating, he takes the dishes and rinses them before stacking them in the dishwasher.
My cellphone rings and my heart drops for a moment, but when I check it, it’s my mom calling so I know it’s Roe.
“Hello?” I answer, putting the phone on speaker.
“I’m going to bed, Mom, so grandma told me to call and say goodnight. So, goodnight!”
“Did you have fun today?” I ask her.
“Yeah, grandma and grandpa had a tea party with me withrealtea. It tasted nasty, but it was fun.”
I laugh, unable to hide my smile. “That does sound fun.”
“We had cucumber sandwiches and treats.”
“That sounds like the best day ever.”
“Anyway, goodnight. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Sleep tight and be good for grandma in the morning, okay?”
“I’m always good in the mornings.”
We’ll agree to disagree on that one. “All right, I love you.”
