Page 110 of Spiralling Skywards
“I need to wee, if you lay on top of me, I’ll wet the bed.”
I kissed her nose and rolled back to the side and she slid out from underneath me. I watched her naked arse and hips sway as she walked towards the bathroom.
“You’re naked,” I called out.
“No shit, Sherlock. Ten marks for observation.”
She was so miserable this morning it was actually funny.
“I thought you got your period?”
She never slept naked when she had her period, she always wore the cutest short-like knickers to bed. Because she was extra miserable on the mornings leading up to and during her period, I’d bought her some knickers just to sleep in.
What made them extra special were the little quotes printed on the part of the fabric that covered that fine arse. There were seven in a pack, I’d bought her two packs. The quotes were perfect for her.
“Talk to me before coffee. You die.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You speak, I’ll stab.”
But my absolute favourite were the pair that said
“So, I’m a cunt in the morning, deal with it.”
She stopped in the open doorway that led to the en suit and looked over her shoulder at me. Her hair was a mess, her face make-up free. She was so fucking gorgeous that my heart and my dick both jumped to acknowledged that fact.
“I said I had a belly ache, because my period was due. Hence the reason you got a blowie. Another blowie I should say, you know, coz I’m so shit that I need the practice.”
She pointed her finger at me. “I’m on to you, Delaney, don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been up to these last few weeks.”
I widened my eyes and fluttered my lashes, giving her my best puppy-dog look.
She flipped me the middle finger and carried on heading into the bathroom.
“Music,” she called out. I rolled my eyes and reached toward the remote for the CD player we’d bought for the bedroom. I pressed play and “Freak Me” by Another Level blasted through the room.
“Thaaaaanks,” she called out.
Sarah, like most women, was a weirdo. When we first started spending nights together, she would always get up and use the bathroom along the hallway in the mornings. I constantly asked why, but never got a straight answer. Then one Wednesday after pub night, when she’d had waaaay too much wine for a school night, she’d confessed.
“Well, it’s coz in the mornings, all the gasses and stuff are going round.”
“Gases?” I’d enquired with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah, you know, in your belly. They go around all night and get all bubbly and stuff.”
I’d pulled off both of her Converse whilst she sat on the edge of the bed and spoke. I gently pushed her to lay back so that I could undo and pull off her jeans.
“Gasses go around in your belly at night, so when you get up and have a wee in the morning, you have to use the other bathroom?”
“Yes,” she said, as if that explained everything.
“I still don’t understand, bub. What difference do the gases make to which toilet you use?”
She threw both her arms back over her head and let out a dramatic sigh.
“Cheese and rice, Liam. You know. That problem you have when you get up for a wee in the morning. That problem all men have.”
