Page 80 of Saving Ren
He reaches for his bottle, and despite there only being a dribble in the bottom, he knocks it back, giving me my first indicator that he’s pissed off with my line of questioning.
“So, does that mean. . .”
“Gonna stop you right the fuck there, Ren.”
I raise my brows at his tone. That being the second indicator he wasnothappy.
“When I was twenty-two, I got drunk at a party. I ended up in a bedroom with a girl. We fucked on top of a pile of coats before falling asleep. I woke in the middle of the night to her sucking my cock. I’d used the only condom I had with me earlier. So, when she climbed on top of me, telling me she was on the pill, that she was safe, she was clean, I believed her. That was the night Ava was conceived. I’ve never been inside a woman without protection since.”
I nod. My mouth feels dry, my stomach queasy at the vision of him fucking on a pile of coats. I thought or assumed the woman he’d married was the mother of his daughter, but perhaps I’d got it wrong. I sip at my wine as I contemplate this—an ex as well as a Baby Mumma.
Great.
“What about your wife?” I decide to put myself out of my misery and ask.
“What about her?”
“Well, surely you didn’t use a condom while you were married?”
He gives a small laugh and shakes his head.
“I didn’t fuck my wife while we were married. I only fucked her twice ever. First time I used a condom, second time without, and Ava was conceived.”
“So, Ava’s Mumisthe woman you married?”
“Yeah. Fuck me, Ren. How many women do you think I’ve actually had in my life?”
I open my mouth to answer, but he interrupts me as he steps back out of the spa.
“Ya know what, don’t answer that. I’m probably gonna need another beer first.”
He doesn’t even bother with the towel, instead walking his fine arse back into the house totally naked. Again, I watch him until he disappears inside. I just finish topping up my glass when I watch him in all of his naked glory walk back to join me, this time carrying four beers.
“I need to get a beer fridge for this end of the deck,” he says as he steps back down into the water.
“The kitchen’s only just there.”
“I’m aware. I’ve nearly frozen my nuts off four times, walking backwards and forwards tonight. A beer fridge will solve that.”
We’re both quiet for a minute as he opens one of the beers and swigs from the bottle.
Eyes on me, he shrugs.
“This is gonna make me sound like an absolute prick, but Lena should’ve remained just a one-night stand. One of the biggest regrets of my life is marrying her.”
“Why did you?”
“She was still sleeping when I left the party. I was a dick. She was drunk, and I just left her there. If a bloke ever did that to my daughter, I’d fucking kill them.”
He takes a moment as if he’s actually considering the scene.
“She called a few times in the weeks after, tried to hook up again, but I wasn't interested. Then she started showing up at the places I usually drank, so, me being twenty-two and an absolute dick, I started hooking up with different girls in front of her. I’m not proud of anything about my relationship with Lena, except that it produced Ava, and honestly, at the time, I thought it was better to be cruel to be kind. She wouldn’t take the hint with the knockbacks, so I thought I’dshowher.”
The jets time out, and I slide lower down in the water rather than turning them back on. Chris Martin sings about a cold December, and I give an involuntary shiver.
“You getting cold?” Gabe asks.
“Nope, carry on,” I reply instantly.
