Page 14 of Need Him
“But how would I stop myself from being this way? I never even realised I was doing it.” Ben’s shoulders dropped.
Gareth took a step closer. “I’m here to help if you’ll let me. I’m not trying to change you, Ben. I promise. I’m just trying to help you live the best life you can.”
Tears gathered in Ben’s eyes, and his strength left him. His knees buckled, but Gareth caught him before he hit the floor. Arms tightened around him as they sat on the floor, and Gareth held him. The tears overflowed gently, Ben unable to stop them. He was…not numb, but like he had too much information in his head and couldn’t fixate on any one piece of it. He sat there and let Gareth hold him.
After a long time, of which Ben had no idea the time, Gareth pulled back, cupping Ben’s face and wiping his wet cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Ben shook his head. “You didn’t. You made me realise just how little I had to be happy about.”
“God, I definitely need to apologise.”
Ben chuckled. “No, you don’t. You showed me I haven’t been livingmylife. I’ve been livingtheirlife, and I always have. I don’t know how to fix it.”
Gareth’s gaze roamed Ben’s face. “I can help you if you want me to. Or I can find someone else.” A shadow crept across Gareth’s face, but it was gone before Ben could interpret it. Ben didn’t want anyone else.
He gripped Gareth’s sleeve. “No. I want you.” He stared into Gareth’s eyes. “I don’t know what it is about you, but something keeps bringing me back to you. I need to know. I want to know. Everything. Anything.” He paused. “Teach me?”
Gareth smiled. “I would love to. But first, you need to take some time to think about this. I’ve dropped a lot on you, and split-second decisions are not the best idea. Research it if you want to, and we can talk again another day.”
Ben tightened his grip on him. “What if I’m already sure?”
Gareth shook his head. “You need a few days. Trust me. This is a big decision, and you need to have a clear head to make it.” Ben wrinkled his nose, and Gareth ran a finger over the bridge of it, a small smile in place. “Trust a Daddy. Please, Ben.”
Ben exhaled and nodded, tucking his head against Gareth’s chest. He had no idea what he needed, but Gareth didn’t disappoint. The man wrapped his arms around Ben and held him, making him feel secure and…cared for. That thought circled his head for a while until he had to push it aside before it drove him insane.
“I should get to work,” Gareth said. “The boss might fire me if I’m too late.”
The humour in his voice made Ben sit upright. He glanced at the clock. They’d been talking for about an hour, which meant Garethwaslate.
“I’ll let Felix know it was my fault,” he said as he climbed unsteadily to his feet with Gareth’s help.
They stood facing each other, neither touching the other, but Ben could feel Gareth all around him. The phantom touch of someone who cared. It was a strange feeling, but one Ben hoped he would feel again and again.
“You have my number. Call me if you need anything at all.” Gareth stepped closer. “For tonight, I want you to go home or somewhere you can be alone. Really alone. Hide away in your bedroom if you have to. Fake an illness so everyone will stay away. Whatever you need to. Rest, relax and sleep.” He lifted his hand and cupped Ben’s jaw. “Please sleep.”
Ben closed his eyes and nodded. “I’ll try.”
“I know you will.”
A thumb brushed against his lips, and Ben opened his eyes, staring into Gareth’s eyes. His breathing increased as he waited for something he wanted more than he could have imagined before this meeting. Despite Gareth’s warning about split-second decisions, Ben surged forward, closing the distance between them. As their lips met, Ben groaned, and he opened his mouth to let Gareth’s tongue invade. His hands slid around Gareth’s back and gripped at his uniform while Gareth’s hands held Ben’s head where he wanted it.
Heat bloomed in Ben’s body, flowing from the centre of him to his extremities and his groin. Gareth’s tongue explored Ben’s mouth, and Ben couldn’t resist tangling his tongue with Gareth’s. The taste of him was exquisite. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like this from just kissing someone. Their shared air ran out, and they pulled back, staring at each other as they panted to refill their lungs.
Gareth stared at him, a small smile in place, and pecked kisses on Ben’s mouth, chin, cheeks and nose before stepping back. “I need to get to work, and you need to sleep.”
“Okay.” Ben nodded. “Okay,” he repeated. “I’m going now.”
Gareth smiled. “See you tomorrow.” He held up his hand. “Let me rephrase that. See you tomorroweveningat the earliest.”
Gareth let himself out of the office, and Ben locked his knees to stop himself from dropping to the floor. He sank into the sofa and stared at the wall. What the hell had happened here? At least, he knew Gareth was right about one thing. He needed to think everything through and see if he could research what he’d been told. That he was a snarky teenager didn’t sound like a good thing, but maybe it was. He didn’t know.
But as Gareth had said, he needed to sleep. Sleep first, research after.
****
Chapter 7
Gareth
