Page 23 of Hurt to Love
She raised an eyebrow at him, like she didn’t believe a word of it. Chances were, she knew what sort of ‘stuff’ Cill and his friends were into. She probably thought I was part of that whole seedy scene, like other girls from that club. Like the girls at… No, I couldn’t think about that place. This was a new day. A fresh start.
“And your name is?” she asked me, chewing her gum and crossing her arms over her chest. It made her look pissed off. Even more so when she huffed that I hadn’t responded right away.
“She doesn’t talk,” Cill quickly clarified. “Just call her Wednesday, or Wends is good too.” He looked at me as if seeking confirmation, and I shrugged back. “And I’m Cillian, or Cill for short.” He gave her his killer smile, which totally made her eyes sparkle brighter.
“Cool. It’ll be nice to have a bit of company whilst I’m here. It does get awfully lonely.” She bit her lip and giggled, even though she hadn’t said anything remotely funny.
“And your name is?” Cill asked.
“Verity, but you can call me Vee. Most people do.”
“Nice to meet you, Vee.” Cill held out his hand to shake hers. It was a simple, everyday action. One which people do multiple times a day without giving it a second thought, and yet, watching them greeting each other like that was unsettling for me. I didn’t even know why. My stomach felt knotted and my throat went tight, like it was being constricted. Maybe I’d been away from normal social interaction for so long, I didn’t know how to react. My body felt all out of sync with my mind. I wanted to escape, run away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
She went on to explain that she was the housekeeper. That she would most probably be making daily visits to keep everything spick and span. It all sounded pretty convenient to me. I was sure her decision to up her days had nothing to do with the fact that a hot guy was staying here.
As they chatted some more, I could tell she was an outrageous flirt, even more so than Cill. He didn’t seem to mind her attention though. Every time she spoke, she let out an annoying little giggle. Standing near him to chat about her role in the house, she couldn’t stop herself from brushing his arm or stroking him. It unnerved me. I don’t know why, but it did.
I wasn’t ready for this intrusion. Her light was blinding to me. She was too much. She was the rose and I was a wilting, ugly nettle. Something to be avoided at all costs. It hurt too much to come close or touch me. Not her though; she radiated beauty.
“Well, I’d better get on with my jobs.” She glanced over at me and smiled. I didn’t expect that. “We should do a girlie day. I could get my sister to come over and cut your hair. I’m a qualified nail technician so we’d have that covered too. A day of pampering, what do you say?”
“She doesn’t speak, remember?” Cill’s tone sounded clipped. Was he pissed off at her?
“Oh, shit, yeah. I’m sorry. Still a good idea though, hey? Think about it. Now, can I have my apron back? I don’t want to get my sun dress dirty.”
Cill made some joke about a French maid’s outfit, but to be honest, I didn’t hear him. I’d already zoned out and was trying to come to terms with the prospect of coping with two new people in my life. I felt awkward, out of place and unwanted. It seemed that somewhere along the way, I’d lost the ability to just be me. That counsellor I’d been reluctant to consider last night, when the doctor mentioned them, was becoming more appealing in the light of day. In light of Verity.
I driedoff and chose a new outfit for the day. Downstairs, I could hear Verity going about her daily chores, and trying to catch Cill’s attention in the process. I decided to take myself off outside, maybe tend to the garden and find my quiet place for the day. I’d always enjoyed helping my mum in our garden back at home. I found it was a good way to switch my brain off from the struggles of life. Only, the struggles I had back then seemed so childish compared to now. Boyfriend trouble, essay deadlines, what I’d wear on a Friday night. I’d never be that girl again. But someday, I hoped that my struggles would be less damning than they were today.
I missed my mum. I missed my whole family, but I knew I had to wait this nightmare out before going back to them. I couldn’t risk leading the brothers back there, to my family home. I wanted them all safe at any cost. If that meant I needed to protect them and keep my distance, then so be it. I didn’t like it, but it was what I had to do.
I left the house and wandered out to the gardens. There were flower beds running around the edge of the grass, and the neat little trees dotted in between gave me anAlice in Wonderlandvibe. All miniature and perfectly idyllic. I didn’t have any tools to trim the trees; perhaps I’d look for those another day. I had my hands though, and upon closer inspection, I could see small shoots of weeds peeking out from the soil. It was obvious that these gardens were tended to regularly, but those pesky weeds had a habit of sprouting up so quickly. I knelt down on the grass and leant over the flower beds, pulling the unwanted shoots out with my bare hands. It felt therapeutic to get dirt under my fingernails and soil all over my hands.
I was so engrossed in my gardening that I physically jumped when I heard a voice shout across to me.
“You know you don’t have to do that. We have gardeners that come once a week,” Vee bellowed across the yard at me, wrinkling her button nose up at my grubby state. She had two garbage bags in her hands and the sight of her made me tremble. A miniature earthquake ripped through my body, remembering the last time I’d carried two bags like that. I looked away quickly, not wanting to invite those memories in, and busied myself with the task at hand.
“Suit yourself,” she said, dropping her loaded bags and waltzing off back into the house.
I workedmy way around the perimeter of the garden, tidying the beds and collecting any unwanted leaves and debris. When I came to the area closest to the house, I could hear the two of them talking inside, through an open window.
“So, what’s the deal with you and the mute?” Vee’s voice was sickly sweet, but condescending at the same time.
“Don’t talk about her like that. She’s been through a lot,” Cill snapped back in my defence.
“I’m not saying she hasn’t, but she’s… weird. And really rude.”
“You would be too if you’d seen what she has.” I liked that he was sticking up for me. It made my chest swell and feel warm. That feeling didn’t last though.
“Well, I can see what she sees now, and it’s looking mighty fine from where I’m standing,” Vee sang in her golden, syrupy voice.
He chuckled. “My view isn’t too shabby either.”
I felt an icy bolt shoot up my spine. I didn’t like listening to them, but it seemed my body was in protest. It wanted to know where this would go.
“I like the shirt you’re wearing,” she purred seductively. “Is it made of boyfriend material?” Cill howled at her saucy line. I just felt bile rolling around in my stomach and rising up to scorch my throat.
“Oh, you’re good. I think you could take me on in a battle of the chat up lines.” Cill must’ve been loving this. Nice that someone was.
