Page 74 of The Last Night in London
Despite my comfortable bed and beautiful bedroom, I’d slept fitfully, tossing and turning and replaying the evening over and over in my head. Mostly I focused on Colin’s kiss, but then I’d loop back around to the after-dinner conversation and Precious telling us to have sweet dreams as she left the room. Eventually, I’d thrown on a sweatshirt and jeans and grabbed my backpack, then attempted to make my way down to the kitchen in search of coffee just as the sun rose. I stumbled through the house, turning down wrong hallway after wrong hallway.
My phone beeped with a text from Aunt Cassie as I crossed through the dining room. I stopped to respond, knowing I couldn’t text and figure out the maze of hallways simultaneously. It was the middle of the night in Georgia, but my aunt sometimes worked best in the wee hours on the creative aspects of her job as the partner of an advertising agency.
I made your appointment with Dr. Grey.
Thanks. I think.
How’s it going?
Fine. Confused.
Is it Arabella’s cousin?
???
Sorry—Sarah Frances told me about him. What’s his name?
I ignored her second question.Yes—Arabella’s cousin.I paused, wondering how much I should tell her. And then I remembered this was my aunt Cassie, who knew me better than most. I took a deep breath.He kept a photo of me on his desk all these years.
Wow. Did you remember him?
I held my thumbs over my phone, not sure how to answer. Finally, I tapped,Sort of. More than I thought.
A smiley face emoji appeared on my screen.
I answered with???
It was that way with your uncle Sam and me, too. Turns out I remembered a lot more about him than I thought. And then I married him.
I stared at my screen, wondering how to respond.I’m not marrying anyone so tuck that thought back where it came from.
Sure. Call me later. Although I like texting you.
Why?
Because you type in full sentences. And tell me his name!
I sent her an eye-rolling emoji, then closed my screen and returned to my hunt for the kitchen, imagining I smelled coffee as Iopened yet another door and found myself in a broom closet. I wondered if lack of caffeine made people hallucinate as I opened the second doorway to my right, which finally led me into the kitchen.
Sun streamed through the tall windows over the sink, reminding me of home. I could picture my mother standing at our kitchen sink, washing out the endless Tupperware Popsicle holders to make sure that each of us had his or her favorite color. She always wore pink rubber gloves to protect her hands. The last time I was home, I’d found a box of them tucked in the back under the kitchen sink. They must have made the move when my dad and Suzanne relocated to a new house after they married. The rubber had probably disintegrated by now, but no one seemed to have the heart to throw them away.
“Good morning.”
I jumped at the sound of Penelope’s voice. She sat at the kitchen table with a cup of steaming coffee and the hatbox of cut photographs, surrounded by newspaper clippings. A rectangular black box and a thick leather-bound album I hadn’t seen before sat next to the hatbox.
“Sorry—I didn’t mean to startle you.” She looked closely at me. “I expect you’re needing some coffee.” She indicated the pot on the counter by the sink. “Please, help yourself.”
“Thank you. I thought I was imagining the smell.” I pulled out a mug from the glass-fronted cabinet.
“I love my tea,” Penelope said, “but I need coffee first thing in the morning. It’s a habit I picked up on our first trip to Atlanta.”
I brought my cup over to the table and sat down. “Were those trips to Atlanta for Colin’s brother?”
She nodded. “He told you, then? He doesn’t usually tell people.”
“I saw the picture of Jeremy in a stroller at the Atlanta airport and asked him about it. All he told me was that it was his twin brother and that he died of leukemia when they were nine.”
Penelope took a sip from her cup, flicking through the photographs on the table with an unvarnished nail. “Jeremy was diagnosed when he and Colin were four. Ever since, Colin has had survivor’s guilt, which I think is especially hard since they were identical twins.”
