Page 39 of Waiting For Ever
She sits up on her heels and ponders me silently. This is why Lilly is probably my favorite person—and I just met her. She can be so passionate and fired up about something but can stop the momentum and really listen when someone throws the brakes on her steamroll.
“Okay, but you promise to tell me everything?”
“I’m not promising that. I don’t know what to expect or if I’ll be able to talk about it without dying of embarrassment. But I promise to confirm the event. Okay?”
“Ugh, okay.”
“Now it’s your turn. Noah?”
Her smile takes over her face and I know I’m in for a riveting Lilly B. tale.
Chapter 30
Everly
Opening day at Brew is a success, but I hide out at Fit all day with Lilly. Although no one knew I was hiding out except me. Over breakfast I mention to Lilly that I wish I’d gotten the Fit shift instead of the Brew shift, that crowds sometimes make me anxious. Ever the accommodating friend, she calls Noah and asks him to take opening day with Julian so I can help her with some aesthetic stuff at Fit. I know she doesn’t entirely buy the crowd anxiety thing but mistakenly thinks I might have nerves about my first time with Julian.
During our morning workout, after about the fifteenth time Lilly brings it up, I tell her about the camping reservation from Oak Valley under the last name Young. I’d mostly put it out of my mind since that day I discovered it. But now that opening day is here, it’s living rent free in my head. In Lilly’s, too, apparently.
“Okay, but why is your sister still friends with them? Especially Kendall?”
“Maybe because she tried to leave the planet over it. I mean, the thought that I may have contributed to that . . . to her trying to . . .” I shudder.
“But did she?” Lilly holds up her hands in surrender before she adds, “No, hear me out. I’m just saying the suicide thing doesn’t track for me. The aftermath . . .” She shakes her head.
I pause mid-squat. “What? You think she lied?”
“Or faked it.” Lilly finishes her leg press sets so we switch places. She begins dumbbell squats, and I start my sets on the leg press machine.
“How do you fake it?” I find her eyes in the mirror.
She shrugs her shoulders, arching one brow in question.
We finish the rest of our sets in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. I can’t quite wrap my head around someone faking a suicide attempt—even Kendall, who arguably got a whole town to bully and cancel me on her behalf.
But did she?
The few times Via and I talked about it, she said Kendall vehemently maintained she had no part in it. That she never asked anyone to treat me badly. Maybe that’s true. Maybe she didn’t have to. As the golden girl of OV, maybe they did it out of some twisted loyalty and alliance to her and her family. I guess I’ll never know the truth. Doesn’t matter anyway. Wouldn’t change my circumstances now. Which leads me down another rabbit hole as we switch to abs to finish our workout. What happened in Oak Valley sucked. It beyond sucked. But if it hadn’t happened and sucked so completely, I would’ve never moved to Blue Lake. And never met Julian.
Julian’s face slams into my mind, and my heart drops into my kicks at the thought of never knowing him. I don’t know how or when thisperson became such a huge part of my life, but I can’t imagine my life without him in it. Which feels premature at best and delusional at worst. I know we’ve got something. I know that much. But this is my first time ever being interested in anyone. Julian has had plenty of experience and may not find all of this as earth-shattering as I do. I stamp the doubt down and focus on my work.
The day at Fit flies by. After we work out, help regulars, sign up new members and sell juice shots for Letty, we close just before sunset, program the doors for app entry and make our way to Brew to catch the sunset with Noah and Julian. I’m twitchy to hear how the first day went and to scope out the campers.
My heart thuds harder the closer we get, so I take some measured deep breaths. I’m sure the last name is a coincidence. Even if it is him, Chase doesn’t know I’m here. I’m aware this thought loop is playing like a track on repeat.
Now that Lilly knows about Chase, I can just tell her my fear. I know she’d appoint herself my personal guard. That’s how she rolls. And Brew would no doubt be buzzing with campers. All the cabins boast kitchenettes, and most campers relish the idea of making their own meals. But a young group of tent campers like the crew would most likely rely on Brew for their meals. I almost suggest we watch the sunset on Julian’s deck, separate from the camping world, but I don’t want to explain why. I decide to put it out of my mind and not to worry until there is something to worry about.
Compartmentalizing isn’t new to me. It’s a family trait.
We get to Brew with minutes to spare before the sun completely sinks into Blue Lake. The place is buzzing with activity. The parking lot is full. The outdoor string lights twinkle everywhere, creating afestive mood, as colorful umbrellas, chairs and ice chests litter the camping areas. Adults and kids scatter around the beach, on the patio, the walking trail—their energy infectious. Still in our gym clothes, we carry a change with us but hold off changing so we don’t miss the sunset. That we’re all equally obsessed with Blue Lake sunsets feels like I’ve clicked into my piece of the puzzle. My spot in the world. I can breathe here—in this place with these people. I hug my clothes tighter to my chest as I take it all in.
Julian’s placing chairs around an outdoor propane heater when we walk up. He stops and smiles when we make eye contact. As he drapes a blanket across the back of the chair he moved, he offers it to me, sweeping his hand out invitingly.
“Thanks. The place looks amazing.” You can feel the joy in the air, the anticipation of the season. Warmth and sunshine just make everything better, everyone happier. Even the little sisters are more social, stashing their phones for a millisecond and joining the conversation.
Lilly sits in the chair on my right; Julian takes the one on my left. Pete and Shelley join us while their two boys throw a Nerf football nearby.
“Hey, Littles,” Noah aims at the sisters, “you’re about to miss your photo op,” and points to the glowing orb about to dip into the lake.
