Page 71 of Never Stop
I move out of Clark's way, walk around to the other side of Mr. Earl, and kneel down, getting eye level with him and holding his hand.
"Okay, Mr. Heartburn. I need you to try to calm your breathing and focus on taking slow, deep breaths. The ambulance will be here shortly, and they're going to take great care of you." I keep my voice calm and reassuring, but I'm panicking on the inside. I can't let him see that, but I can tell and feel that this episode is not good.
Mr. Earl chuckles at my lame heartburn joke as his eyes peer up to meet mine. He places his other hand over mine, which is gripping his, and he gives me a look—a look of love—a look that says more than his words ever will.
"Thank you, Via. Thank you for being my friend." Tears pool up in the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I continue to squeeze his hand and rub the other hand on his shoulder.
"You stop that. Stop that now. You can thank me all you want to whenever you get back home. Okay?" He knows what I mean. Mr. Earl is never one for sentiments like that. For him to thank me is his way of telling me goodbye. He doesn't think he's going to make it back, and I refuse to allow him to give up. Not yet.
His lips turn up into a curve as the medics enter his apartment. "Well, you have to tell me about your date when I come home."
I laugh softly and shake my head; he's unbelievable. The man is having a heart attack, and he's worried about getting the latest gossip. "Deal," I deadpan, giving his hand and shoulder each one last squeeze as I step aside to let the medics take over and get him on the stretcher.
As the EMTs take Mr. Earl away and my coworkers make their way out, I find myself staying behind. I need to regroup before heading back out there. I sit on his couch and place my head in my hands, slowly running them up my face and through my hair. Thinking I'm in here alone and that everyone else is on their way back to their designated stations, I let out a sigh and a low curse of "fuck," trying to sort through my thoughts and emotions. The main door pried open a bit, and Clark stepped back inside.
"Hey Via, you okay?" His voice is soft and sincere. Everyone here knows how I get when it comes to these things with our residents, but they also all know my special place for Mr. Earl in my heart. It's hard not to see how much that grumpy old man means to me.
I offer Clark a small, forced smile and nod.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for checking in on me."
Clark makes his way towards me on the couch and makes a hand gesture as if asking if it's okay for him to sit down with me. I shrug. As he closes in, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I instantly go into fight or flight mode, thinking of ways to get out of this situation.
He sits a little closer to me than I'd like. I'm still leaning over with my elbows on my knees and my hands supporting my face. He begins rubbing a hand up and down my back, and my body instantly stiffens to his touch.
"I know he means a lot to you, Via; he should be okay. Isn't he the cat man, as he calls it?" He says with a chuckle.
Growing very uncomfortable by the second, I stand quickly.
"Yeah, that's what he says." I ran a hand through my hair, annoyed now that I needed a minute alone to collect myself, and Mr. Persistence interrupted it for me. I clap my hands together softly and point towards the door.
"Well, I better get back out there."
As I turn to head out of Mr. Earls' unit, Clark calls after me, "Via,"
With a sigh of defeat, but trying not to show it, I turn back to face him— He's still sitting on the couch. Now, there's a look of frustration on his face.
"Yeah?" My voice is low. I haven't gotten the chance to report him to our supervisors yet, as I promised Ander. Part of me wants just to walk out and ignore him, but I'm trying to stay professional and not let my discomfort show.
"Did I hear Earl right. . . Did you really—" He hesitates, and ohfuck, I already know where this is going. If this wasn't uncomfortable enough.
"Did you go on a date with someone?" His eyes glared at me momentarily, impatiently waiting for my response.
I try to keep calm, but it isn't easy. My entire body is on high alert, and alarm bells are ringing in my ears, telling me to get out now.
"V, are you still in here?" Dessa's voice calls out from the doorway, breaking the brief, awkward silence. Relief courses through me.
"Yeah, I'm coming," I call back to her and offer Clark a flat line half smile and a wave as I turn back around and walk out the door toward Dessa.
"I saw everyone walk out but you and then noticed Clark go back in, so I figured I'd come to make sure you were okay. I can guess by the uncomfortable look on your face that he's trying to get in your lace panties again?" I chuckle and shake my head. Leave it to Dessa to simplify the situation.
"It's Clark," I sigh. She knows exactly what I mean by that.
"Have you ever brought up the random notes and flowers to him?"
Shaking my head, "No, it's too awkward. I wish he'd take the hint, though. Ander found out about it the other night. He didn't take it too well. He thinks I should report him."
"You need to! It's gotten completely out of hand. Especially to follow you to your therapist's office? Come on, V!"
