Page 101 of Never Started
And over the recent months? Things with Maverick have been... rocky, to say the least.
He pushed for more, meanwhile, I pulled for less. A constant game of push and pull that neither of us wanted.
He wants to move forward with our relationship, take the next steps. Meanwhile, I'm back to not wanting to be in a relationship. Am I terrible? Absolutely. I never wanted any of this. With Mav, it was different. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I always knew I'd be the one hurting him. That makes me all the more terrible.
I haven't confessed to Maverick about the kiss. Instead, I've pulled back.
That said, my intention was never to lead him on. Genuinely, I wanted to be with Maverick. I still do. I can’t picture a life where he isn’t in it.
However, my selfish heart can't help but want Jett also. God, that kiss… I both wish it had never happened, and wish it would happen again. It’s fucking plagued me, turned my world upside down. Reminded me of what could’ve been, and what could still be.
I haven’t truly spoken to Jett since that kiss. Just a word here and there, the last time being at Via and Ander's wedding. All by choice, avoiding him as much as possible, all the while not wanting to forget.
But still trying to…
Now, I'm about to willingly spend an entire week at his ranch without Maverick there. Whether broken up or not, we’re spending time apart, and we truly do need it until I can grow the lady balls to tell him the truth.
Yet, a week in the same atmosphere as Jett already feels like trouble.
Avoid him like the plague. Yep. That's what I'll do.
Chapter forty-nine
Izzy
November 2025
Opening my car door, the smell of freshly cut grass wafts through the air. I never realized that a place could actually have a specific smell until the first time I came to the Cole Ranch as a teen. Ever since then, it's become one of my favorite scents.
Stepping out, my heels meet the dirt, and I can't help the smile lifting at the corners of my mouth.
Looking around, I see that none of the others have made it yet, and I'm the first one here.
Great.
Even though it annoys me slightly that I'm late and still managed to be the first one here, I can't contain the peace I feel when I look around. The Cole Ranch is nothing short of picturesque. The hills and valleys expand for miles between the trees and the clearings. The large pond next to the main home is beautiful and inviting.
I take a moment to look around and take it all in. I've always loved it here, but it's the memories. The memories ofhimmakeit hard to be here. As if a movie has pressed play in my mind, a picture reel of my last time here, exactly two years ago, flashes through my mind.
My betrayal of Maverick.
The fierce connection with Jett.
The kiss that changed me.
This kiss knocked my entire world off its axis, leaving me orbiting aimlessly with a conflicted heart and mind.
I know being here after that kiss, and still harboring the secret of it from Maverick, is probably not the best idea, especially since Maverick and I are already struggling. However, like Via suggested, I can't help but feel like this is exactly where I need to be at the same time.
As my head is down and I'm grabbing my bags, I hear the quacking getting closer, and my laugh is already threatening to escape.
Slamming the trunk, I look up to see the attack ducks quickly waddling my way to beg for food.
Shit. Those little fuckers are fast.
Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I go to run to the porch, but realize quickly that they've already closed in on me and have me completely surrounded.
"SHOO!" I shout through my laughter.
