Page 100 of Never Started
Her brow furrows. "When he came to see you at the cabin?"
I nod.
"Whatever happened with that talk anyway? If you want to talk about it."
"I don't," I say blankly, and Via, being the angel that she is, nods with a forced smile, not pushing the topic any further.
"Well, no matter what brought you, I'm glad that you're here. There is one thing, though."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"We're leaving for the ranch in less than an hour, for another Cole Family Thanksgiving. I know you already said no to the invite, that you didn't want to come, but I really want you to be there. And I really think you should, especially now."
What the fuck.I forgot they were all leaving today. How is this a good idea at all?
"V, have you lost your mind? I tell you I'm conflicted, and your solution is for me to be aroundthe reasonI’m conflicted?"
Her expression remains stoic as she shrugs. "Yes. I mean, if anything, I think it’ll help to give you some clarity."
"Clarity?" I scoff with a scowl. "How the hell could clarity come from that?"
"Oh, come on, Iz. Plus, it's not like it will just be him there. Dessa, Kasten, and Silas are all coming. You can avoid Jett just like you have for the past two years if you choose to."
Ugh.I do miss Dessa so much. We barely work the same shifts together anymore, so seeing her has been rare. Via doesn't work with us at all anymore, and somehow manages to see Dessa more than I do.
I roll my eyes. "Why is my brother going?" I love my brother. I'm more so butthurt he didn't tell me. "And Silas, the hot chef friend? He’s the guy who helped Ander with his proposal, right?" I wince, remembering that awful day—the day we found Via beaten to a pulp by her brother. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
But Via smiles, unfazed. "It’s okay, Iz. It’s in the past. And yes, Silas is the hot chef friend. Kas is already out there; he and Jett have been—"
"Yeah, I know, butt buddies."
She snorts a laugh. "I was going to say best friends, but that works, too." Her giggle continues. "So, will you come? If not for you, then for me?" She finishes her question by batting her lashes.
I turn around, walking back toward my car with a wave. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going to pack some clothes, damnit."
Secrets.
I've always been the keeper of secrets. It isn't a position I necessarily signed up for, but it’s one that has chosen me.
The secrets started with Chad.Fucking Chad. I kept his secret out of my own shame from the reality of what happened to me. Still, that's where it started.
It continued with my father's infidelity. I kept his secret out of fear. Fear of what would come of my mother and our family if thetruth were exposed. Fear for Via and how it would affect her and her family.
That's when I became a vessel for the depraved. I would lock that shit up in a box and tuck it away. I always thought that method worked for me. However, I never considered what would happen when the box overflows and the lid won't shut.
Why would I? I always prided myself on my honesty.
That is, until I played a part in a scenario, causing me to have my own secrets to lock away. A baby. A kiss. A murder…
I wanted to be nothing like the ones I unwillingly protected. I made every effort not to be. Before my own secrets, with me, you always got the real, the unfiltered, and the raw. If you had asked most people back then, they'd probably say I even had a PhD in Bitchology. I tended to be seen as a bitch. Still do, which I've now accepted. I'm not one for sugarcoating to save face or protect your feelings.
Now, I've become exactly what I hate.
I spent years protecting myself from deception and betrayal, yet managed to accomplish both—deceiving and betraying others.
That “box” now not only overflows with kept secrets, but with guilt eating away at my spirit.
I've changed over the past two years. There's no denying that.
