Page 75 of Broken Hero
“You don't want me?” Her voice is icy cold and sends shivers all over me.
“No. I don't want anyone. I want to be on my own.”
Silence hangs in the air while neither of us speaks.
“So, this is what you're going to do? Every time something goes wrong, every time something isn't perfect, you are going to run away?”
I shake my head and fleetingly meet her gaze. “No, just this one time, Sophie. It's done. We’re done.” I feel bile rising in my throat as I say the words.
She sighs. “I guess I don't want a man who finds me so disposable, huh? One that isn't by my side when I need him, like I needed you this afternoon.”
Shit, I feel like a knife has been plunged into my stomach.
“I thought you were that man Dec. I thought you were my soulmate. How fucking stupid was I? I'm in love with you. You heard me, right? In the building. I fell for the guy that could break my heart the most. As ever, the worst taste in men award goes to me.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Sorry can fuck off. Right, I guess I’ll get my stuff.”
“What? You don't have to move out.”
“You think I can stay here? With you. YOU'RE BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART. How am I supposed to be anywhere near you?”
She brushes past me and goes upstairs - presumably to pack. Where will she go? Her dad has moved into a flat. I guess she’ll go to Mia or Robyn's. Fuck, I hope she doesn't go to Robyn - Jack will be over here in a shot.
I sit on the couch, waiting for her to come back downstairs. I expect her to come back in - she doesn't. She leaves Straight out of the front door without saying a word. I don't know if she’s even sorted anything out. I can't let her leave like that. I pick up the phone and call Mia.
“What?” she answers.
“Er Sophie and I, we...I...she left Mia.”
“Yeah, I know, I'm on my way back for her now.”
I sag with relief, happy that she has somewhere to go.
“Thanks, Mia.”
“Go fuck yourself.” And the line goes dead.
I’ve done what I needed to do. Now I need to live with myself.
Chapter Nineteen
Sophie
The next few days go by in a whirl of me sitting staring into space, nightmares about being trapped in a fire, and so many panic attacks - every time I think that something could have happened to Eli while he was in my care. Eli could have been taken away from Robyn and Jack, and it would have been down to me. I don't know how to deal with that. Robyn and I have talked. She came to Mia's with a bunch of flowers, chocolates and even new pj's, thanking me for saving Eli's life. He has come out of it without a scratch, an exciting adventure to tell his friends.
It turns out my distaste for the play area and the smell wasn't unfounded. An old gas boiler malfunctioned - it sparked and exploded, bringing the building down with it. All that’s left is a pile of rubble now. It’s a miracle that no one got hurt. But I got hurt...on the inside. I haveneverknown hurt like this in all my life. How could he end it between us so easily? The Dec that came home and finished things between us was not the one that left for work in the morning. It was like two different men - the second one was an empty shell.
Robyn and Mia try to take my mind off things by talking about the hen party. The joint hen and stag party in Vegas that Robyn is paying for in a couple of weeks’ time. I make all the noises expected of me, but I don't want to go – Dec will be there. I don’t have a choice, though - I'm the head bridesmaid and organising the whole thing – well, the girls' activities anyway – Denny is doing the guy stuff. I don't want to do anything right now, especially not spend days on end with my ex when it still feels so raw. I can't help but wonder how he is. Sick, right? Ishouldhate his guts. I’ve seen the real Dec, though, the funny, caring one that would do anything for me. He’s gone right now, but he’s in there somewhere. Maybe if I go and see him, talk to him, we can get through it together. Would it be worth it, or would I be wasting my breath?
I have a few days off both jobs - to recuperate, and I did inhale some smoke, plus with the adrenaline, my body has been exhausted since.
Mia walks in, it’s weekend, and she’s been out to get us both breakfast. “Hey babe. I know you won't eat a full MacDonald's breakfast, so I got you a bagel. Do you think you can eat that?”
I nod. She’s trying hard to get me to eat. “Yeah, hun, I promise I’ll eat the bagel.”
She eyes me for a moment and nods, satisfied that I'm telling the truth. She fiddles around in the kitchen and walks into the lounge - handing me a plate.
