Page 31 of Unspoken Confessions
12
Nick
Whatever reason that had Jameson avoiding me seemed to have fizzled away. There was something different between us, but I couldn’t explain it. Matter of fact, I tried my hardest to ignore it.
At least he hadn’t stopped working out with me.
We were actually out in nature today. Yes, he’d forced me out of my comfort zone. Or it could have been that he had grown tired of trying to find different ways to circle around the neighborhood. I guess it said a lot that I just got in the SUV when he stopped beside the driver’s side door and gave me a hard look. That was a few days ago. I had to admit, this was nice. We hadn’t gone to the same trail twice yet and honestly, I didn’t know much about Atlanta, so I couldn’t even say what part of the city we had ended up in today.
I didn’t question it, just followed his lead.
Because I trusted him.
Which was a hard thing for me to do.
And I refused to let myself think of why.
You know, sometimes it was extremely exhausting to be me.
I wasn’t saying that to gain sympathy. In fact, that wasn’t something I wanted. I realized I was the one that had put me here. I was the one that kept myself in the place that made me unhappy. But… it was a fine line that I felt I needed to walk.
I guess I had daddy issues.
I suppose that was what it boiled down to.
Though it felt weird saying it like that.
I was lucky, right? I had money. I was fucking famous. I had fans and jobs lined up if I wanted them and all the things.
But I wasn’t happy.
So did that stuff really matter?
I hadn’t said much though we’d been jogging for a while now. And of course, Jameson hadn’t spoken.
What was up with that? I still hadn’t figured it out.
Then again, I didn’t really need him to speak.
Wow, that sounded horrible.
I definitely didn’t mean it like that.
I only meant that I could read him by simply looking at his face. I loved it. I also hated it.
Jameson was the thing I didn’t need in my life.
He made me feel, and that was something I couldn’t handle.
I wouldn’t change, I was certain of that.
There was my father’s voice in the back of my head again, screaming louder than ever.
I hated the man. Yet, I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Fucked up?
Yeah, I knew it.
