Page 39 of Holiday on the Rocks
Silence as I rested my forehead against the door.
“Maybe this is just us saying goodbye.” His deep voice was soft as I turned around.
“What?”
“Well, back then it was over in an instant.” Through the door I heard him take a deep breath. “All because of me, and we didn’t say goodbye or anything. Everything was left unfinished, you know? There was no end.”
I just stared back at the door. There had been no end. One moment I was laughing and the next alone.
“We never had any kind of closure.”
“What?”
“Like the chance to say goodbye to us. What we had. Maybe our kissing is just us saying goodbye.”
His kisses made me want to do anything but say goodbye. Maybe my subconscious was thinking that? Although I doubted my subconscious was that smart.
“I think I once heard Dr. Phil talking about the importance of closure when people had a thing. Or some shit like that.”
“I do like Dr. Phil.” My brain was shaking her fist at me.
“I know, right? I think it’s his southern drawl.”
“Yeah. He’s from Texas. Texas people are super smart.”
“Well, I think his point was that people can move forward once they have closure. Then they can leave the past in the past.”
Oh, this sounded like something that might bite me in the ass later. “So they won’t kiss anymore after closure?”
“Nope.”
You have a life now, don’t go there.
“So what’s closure look like?”
“Well, I think if we wanted closure, we hang out however we want and just have some time. Nothing has to happen, or maybe a little kiss might be okay, up to you. Then we say goodbye and it’ll be good because the thing we had will have an ending.”
“One day and we don’t talk about anything now? Nothing about our current lives, just hang out?”
“Since nobody will be here until at least tomorrow, maybe we could give it a shot. Be close for a bit and then goodbye.”
“One day. And after closure we be civil while in Colorado and never speak again once we leave this state.”
“Yes. What do you think?”
My mind was attempting to compute and answer to his question.
Levi’s pillow lips + my jankey heart / one day of closure x my mental health = fxubcrkgewd?%!
I walked over and sat on my bed thinking of his multiple female phone calls. “But if you have, well, someone you’re seeing, or a relationship, I would never?—”
“I’m not seeing anyone. I don’t do relationships, and I guarantee I want nothing.”
It felt like a kick.
He’s not with anyone. How could that be? It didn’t seem possible. “You see people?”
Pause. “To be honest, I don’t date. Ever. I have, uh, casual things, but I don’t do relationships.”
