Page 152 of The Widower
I made another promise—that if He made me a better man, I’d give my best every single day. If that happened, I’d understand there was a purpose behind everything.
And lately… I’ve felt something. A strength deep in my chest that’s hard to explain. What I’m about to do—what I’m becoming—was never something the old Colin would’ve even imagined. But I’m not the old Colin anymore.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve changed more in six months of mental and physical weakness than in my entire life. Now I value the small things—the little gestures. And because of that, I’ve grown closer to someone I used to curse every day.
God.
I had to walk through hell to appreciate my life and the people around me—and I know now it was the best thing that could’ve happened. Not that I’d ever wish it on anyone else, but I learned lessons I’ll never forget.
Some of my employees needed therapy after what happened at the mansion, and it ate away at me because, well... I didn’t exactly have the best opinion of “psychologists.” But Isabelle insisted that I see one too, and even though I thought it was a complete waste of time at first, I realized how much it actually helped—to talk about everything and nothing at all.
I started to see how my past traumas—whether I liked it or not—were shaping my present. And to move forward, I had to accept what happened to my family.
Accept.
Such an easy word to say, and such a hard one to live. I used to be a man who refused, under any circumstances, to accept what happened to my daughter. But now, I see things differently. My biggest problem was that I kept putting all the blame on myself, convinced Maddison’s death was the result of my choices.
I can honestly say I’m getting better at that. I’m nowhere near perfect—hell, not even close. I’m stubborn as they come, and that’s not changing anytime soon.But I can feel that I’m on the right path. And I plan to keep putting into practice everything I learned from those sessions.
I know I’ll keep getting better—with time.
I got ready to go somewhere I’d gotten used to visiting—but this time, for a very different reason.
Just as I was about to leave the mansion, Isabelle stepped in front of me, clearly trying to stop me from going any farther.
“Do you need something?” I asked with a faint smile.
“Colin, please don’t tell me you’re—”
“Calm down,” I cut her off gently. “And before you ask, yes, I’m going to the prison.But this time, it’s different.”
“How could it possibly be different? Every time you go there…”
She stopped mid-sentence. She still didn’t understand what I meant to do.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, pulling her into a warm embrace before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
“Yes. I do.”
“It’ll be the last time. That’s a promise. I just…I need to free myself from a few things.”
I sat down in the chair across from that man, and before I could say anything he spoke first: “I’m glad you’re okay.”
Yes. Those were his first words when he saw me — and the worst part was that he didn’t sound sarcastic at all, which surprised me even more.
“What do you mean by that?”I asked.
“I heard what happened. You may not believe it, but I prayed for you. I made a lot of mistakes in my past, I admit that, but I’ve become a better person.”
For a few seconds I thought I was dreaming.
The man I had tormented every day I came here was saying he’d prayed for me. Something was off.
“If that’s true… thank you,” I said, and this time it was his turn to look surprised.
“You came here to—”
“To put an end to everything. This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m simply tired; I don’t take pleasure in hurting you anymore, and I won’t do it again. It’s not fair; some things from the past need to stay there.”
