Page 70 of Worth the Ruin
“Holy fuck,” Wynn had whistled low when I’d showed him the arsenal. He fist bumped me with a huge grin on his face. There was enough weapons and ammo to keep everyone safe for a good long while.Thank you, Uncle Charlie.“So, uh…are you two like…a thing?” he’d asked me quietly as we walked back across the bridge behind a flat bed trailer that we’d loaded down with the first round of supplies and the engineers had rigged to be pulled across by some fancy pulleys. It beat having to bring it all across by the wagonful, so I wasn’t complaining one bit. A few trailer loads and we’d have our trucks full, and another team would come back in a couple of weeks for more.
I’d glanced ahead at Austin, walking slowly in front of the trailer and keeping a close eye on things.
“I…don’t know. Yes?” I hadn’t meant for it be a question, but I honestly wasn’t sure what the right term for us was. We were obviously together. There was no going back now, for either of us. I’d even admitted to the jerk—who gloated in an admittedly adorable way—that I loved him.
“Say it again, Morales. I didn’t hear you the first time,” he’d said, grinning and dancing around the kitchen. Literally dancing. I’d thrown a dish cloth at him. He’d rolled it up deftly and popped my ass with it, making me yelp and laugh like an idiot. “Come on now, don’t be shy. What did you say?”
“I take it back,” I’d grumbled but I couldn’t seem to wipe the smile from my face. He’d tugged me to him then, kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before.
He’d whispered against my lips, all joking gone, though I could feel the smile as he said, “say it again, Melody. Please. I don’t think I can ever hear those three words enough.”
“I love you,” I whispered just before I kissed him again, something inside of me breaking and healing at the same time. I never thought I’d feel this again. I never thought I’d say those words to anyone after Mitch, but definitely not after everything else that had happened. I never thought I could be this happy again. He’d lifted me onto the kitchen counter and we’d celebrated properly.
Now, we’re back to the real world and I don’t know what that looks like, but I’m not letting myself worry about it too much. We stroll down our hallway now, hand in hand. No less than ten people had been waiting to jump on him the minute we all walked inside the lobby. Renee had flown at me, pulling me into a bearhug and I’d returned it, only to get the same treatment from Abuela a second later. Austin met my eyes across the crowd now separating us, and whatever he saw there had him telling everyone in a booming, though not unkind voice, that we were exhausted and needed rest. Everything could wait for the next day. Renee had given me a look that saidwe will be talking in detail soonand Abuela had simply winked as Austin and I had walked towards the stairs.
“So, are you really exhausted?” I ask, rubbing my thumb across the back of his hand in small circles. He glances at me and his lips curl up.
“I will never, ever be too exhausted for that.”
I huff out a laugh but just as we reach his door, it flies open. I jerk back, surprised, and automatically drop Austin’s hand. Destiny stands on the threshold, dressed in a lace dress that’s more empty-space than fabric. My brows hike upward and I blink several times.
“Oh thank God you’re back,” she sighs heavily, giving Traeger a coy, suggestive smile. “I’ve been missing you like crazy…”
Austin is still as a statue beside me. I glance to him, waiting for him to tell her no, that their arrangement is finished, thatwe’re together now…but he doesn’t and my heart clenches in my chest. I know he wasn’t lying about how he felt about me, but…well, things are different here, aren’t they? He has a reputation to maintain, a mask to display for the world—and that mask doesn’t include me. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before now, and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. I don’t want to have to hide this. I don’t want to be his secret. I get it, but I don’t know how to navigate this—and I sure as shit can’t stand the thought of him keeping up his little appointments with his girls. The mere thought of Destiny’s hands on him makes me want to vomit. And, ok, yeah, it also makes me want to do her serious bodily harm in a variety of ways.
It feels like it’s been hours, but really it’s only been a few seconds. I turn to walk away, my blood pumping loudly in my ears, but only make it a step before his hand is on my wrist, stopping me.
I glance down to where his fingers are firm on me and then meet his eyes.
“Don’t even think about it, Melody.” His voice is a soft rumble, and I feel a shudder of relief make its way through my body. He turns back to Destiny.
“Destiny, this, uh, arrangement of ours—all of the girls—will be ending.”
Her eyes bulge and as they shift to where Austin still holds onto my wrist, her look of incredulity changes to one of outrage.
“Her?? You have got to be kidding me!”
“I assure you that I’m not.” His tone isn’t harsh, but firm and the touch of authority in it reminds Destiny of who he is. She looks like she wants to argue, but doesn’t. She glares daggers at me and then, surprisingly, at Austin. I narrow my eyes a fraction, tracking something in her eyes that I don’t like, and making a note. She isn’t going to take this lightly, no matter what shemight pretend otherwise. She smooths out her features, a sharp smile settling over her face.
“Your loss,” she says, hiking a shoulder and waltzing past us down the hallway, putting a little extra roll in her hips. We watch her go and after the door slams shut, Austin lets out a long sigh.
“Probably could have handled that better,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck and looking so tired and weary that I want nothing more than to take all of this from his shoulders. It’s too fucking much. We’ve only been back for twenty minutes and already the weight of it all is bearing down on him, his mask shifting more firmly into place and tearing away the man I know and love.
“You’ll want to watch your back with that one now,” I tell him, and then purse my lips. “Well, both of us actually. I know murderous intent when I see it.” I reach out and run my hand along his cheek and he closes his eyes, leaning into the touch.
“I’m not worried.” He opens his eyes and gives me a crooked smile. “My girl is a secret ninja assassin.” I giggle as he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. He takes a second to swat my ass, as expected and appreciated, and then he walks us into his room, kicking the door closed behind him. Once we’re in the bedroom, he slides me slowly down his body until I’m on unsteady feet, and brushes the hair from my face.
“How about a hot bath?” I bite my lip. A hot bath sounds like absolute heaven, but I feel like an asshole using that much heated water. As if reading my mind, he adds, “I can do whatever I want. I’m the King of this little kingdom, remember?” He says it playfully, but there’s a strain behind the words. I decide to say fuck it and indulge for the night.
“A bath sounds fantastic.” I lean up to kiss him, and add quietly against his lips, “And I think the king is in need of a little…stress relief.” He groans before kissing me again. He scoops me up in his arms and carries me to the bathroom.
“I wishwe were still at the apartment,” Austin says quietly later as we lounge in the oversized tub, sated and luxuriating in the warmth. My back is to his chest, his legs on the outside of my own and his arms wrapped tightly around me. “Everything was just so…easy there. Here it’s nothing but complicated and…” He seems to be casting around for the right word.
“Heavy?”
He sighs. “Yes. Fucking heavy. Too heavy.” My heart clenches. Coming back is going to be much harder for him than I originally thought. Finally being able to be himself out on the island broke something free inside him. Now he’s having to shove it back down and hide it, and I don’t think it’s as easy as he hoped it would be. I lean up and kiss him, desperate to erase his worry, desperate to shoulder some of his burden for him.
We lie in bed together a little bit later, both of us starting to nod off.
