Page 42 of Worth the Ruin
“Take the bodies into the woods,” Traeger says before stepping towards me. “Chain that one up,” he adds, jerking his head towards Jett. I wordlessly hand him the knife and he shoves it back into the sheath at his hip. He silently ushers me across the clearing and through the woods, back to the pool again. He tries to take Leo from my left hand and I yank him away, eyes blazing. I hadn’t even realized I’d still been holding him. There’s blood on his gray fur.
“Melody,” Traeger says quietly. “Melody, it’s alright. Look at me, it’s me. I’m just going to help you get cleaned up, ok?” He’s talking to me like I’m a trapped animal, and it helps to break through the haze I’m trapped in. I shake myself, trying to calm. I meet his gaze and there’s a surprising gentleness there, in such contrast to the cold brutality from just a few minutes ago. I nod and let him take the dog, watching as he places it on top of my bag. Someone had gathered all of things that Jett had thrown out and piled them back by my pack. Traeger leads me to the edge of the water and eases me down to my knees. He kneels beside me and uses a cloth I hadn’t even seen him grab to start scrubbing the blood away.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“I’m not,” I reply, trying to stop my shaking. There’s a chill in the air now, summer finally fading into deep fall, and being soaked to the bone isn’t helping things. “It was a good plan.” I was the bait to catch Jett and his goons in the act. “Though, I admittedly hadn’t anticipated going into the river.”
Traeger pauses and gives me an assessing look. “You were never in any danger, I swear to you, Melody—well, until you jumped in the fucking water that is.”
“I know.”
“You knew we were watching?”
“I figured you were, but I wasn’t worried about taking care of them. I figured you wouldn’t have been too mad if I killed them outright, but having the public execution probably worked better.”
He shakes his head and continues to clean me up. I let him, too exhausted and numb to think too much about it, and I’d be lying if I said a part of me didn’t like it. It had been so long since anyone had…cared for me like this, Jonah notwithstanding, but of course, that’s different.
“You probably think I’m pretty fucked up, killing them like that. KillingJettlike that.”
He clenches his jaw. “No, I think he deserved worse. I wish I could have done so much fucking worse.”
I meet his eyes and a poem in one of the books he’d given me springs to mind.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved.
We share a darkness, an understanding of the world and what it means to survive in it. The sense of right and wrong that may seem skewed, but makes perfect sense to us. He sees my darkness and doesn’t shy away from it. He accepts it as a part of me. I feel myself falling for him, right here and now, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’ll do a deep dive into it all later, but for now, I just swallow hard and let a long exhale.
“Thank you,” I say quietly.
He clears his throat. “You should get into some dry clothes. I’ll meet you back at the camp.”
After he walks away, I rinse Leo off as best as I can before changing and heading back to the clearing. I frown when I get there, not finding my bedroll where I’d left it earlier. Wynn jogs up then and pulls me into a hug. I return it, mindful of his injured arm and trying not to jostle him too much.
“You alright?”
“I’m good, I promise.” I really am. I feel no guilt about what I did to those men. In fact, I feel a sense of relief. I’ve been counting down to the day I finally ended Jett, so I’m glad to finally have my revenge. I don’t know what that says about me but I honestly don’t care. I’m far past the point of caring or worrying about the blood on my hands. I’d been rattled because of Leo, that’s all.
“I’m good,” I tell him again, “but, uh, where’s my stuff?”
“Traeger moved you into the camper with him for the night, just to be safe.” In a lower tone he adds, “we don’t think Jett had any others in his little gang, but we’re going to keep an eye on you and things for a bit, just as a precaution.”
I nod and give him another hug before making my way to the camper. It’s small, but plenty big for the two of us to sleep. Though, now that I think about it, I would bet that he won’t actually sleep with me. He’ll keep watch all night. When I climb inside, he’s lounging on one of the bench seats, cleaning his knife.
“I’m told I’m bunking here tonight,” I say in greeting.
“Just a precaution,” he assures me, just as Wynn had said. “Bed is all yours.”
I nod and sit on the edge, kicking my wet boots and socks off before pulling my legs up to rest my chin on my knees.
“You didn’t ask,” I say after a few minutes. He quirks a brow. “You didn’t ask about the dog. Why I would risk my life for something so stupid.”
He shrugs. “I figure you’ll tell me if and when you want to.” He stands and slides the knife into its sheath once more. “I’m sure you’re tired of being asked, but are you alright?”
“I’m fine, I promise.”
“Get some sleep, I’ll be right outside.” Our gazes catch and hold, and for a second, I think he might lean in…But then heturns and walks to the door. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed. It’s a bad idea, sure—not the right time or place to be diving into all of that shit—but I wanted it all the same.
He stops when he reaches the door, bracing his hands on either side of the frame.
