Page 61 of A Song to Drown Rivers
I tensed, but forced myself to stay silent, even as my thoughts raced ahead. Had he noticed? Could he sense my resentment? Did he suspect my plans? No, he couldn’t have. Or else he wouldn’t be speaking to me with such sweetness.
“Don’t be mad at me anymore, all right?” he said quietly. “I can’t stand it.”
I felt myself go very still. He spoke to me not as a king, but as a boy, pleading forgiveness. When he was with me he held nothing back, just laid it all out there, his heart and his thoughts bared to the bone. Yet with him I held back everything. He did not even know why I’d insisted on taking a trip down these canals.
“Everything is forgotten already,” I reassured him, stroking his hair.
But in my head I saw Fanli, struggling to stand before the throne, his lips bled pale, the sword pressed into his flesh. I saw Zhengdan, curled up on the floor in my coat, still fighting to smile at me as her breathing slowed. I could never forget; I would not let myself forget.
Jiejie.
Xishi-jie…
If only I could have fought them all…
Whatever flicker of warmth I felt inside me died out. We had sailed far from the inner capital now, the painted houses giving way to lush green wilderness. I looked over the boat edge. The water was so clear here that I could see the weeds floating beneath the pale blue surface, the schools of silver fish darting sharply from left to right, avoiding the splashing oars. A large bird soared low over our heads, carrying what seemed to be every possible color on earth in its glossy feathers, like a phoenix reincarnated.
The boat slowed. “We cannot go any farther than this,” a different servant told us, his head bowed.
I already knew, but I frowned at him. “Why not?”
“The canal ends here, Lady Xishi,” he explained. “Farther up ahead is Lake Tai, but it cannot be reached by boat.”
“But I was hoping to visit Lake Tai,” I said, stealing a glance at Fuchai.
“Another time,” he promised. “Just say the word.”
“Y-yet I’m afraid that’s not quite p-possible, Your Majesty,” the servant stammered out. “Physically s-speaking. This canal does not reach the lake…”
I pursed my lips and lifted my fingers from Fuchai’s hair. He made a small noise of protest, but I ignored him on purpose. “I wish there were an easier way to take pleasure trips around the area, don’t you? I hear Lake Tai is so beautiful, especially in the spring. Imagine: Any time we wish to be alone together, to escapefrom the palace, all we’d have to do is set sail…” I turned back to the servant. “Are there really no other routes?”
“N-no, Lady Xishi. I’m afraid not…”
“I see.” I let the disappointment fill my voice.
“Don’t be absurd,” Fuchai spoke up. “If there is no canal now, then surely we can build one. How hard can it be?”
My heart skipped. I had to fight to suppress any signs of excitement.
“That— It would be a significant endeavor, Your Majesty,” the servant said. “I am no expert, but to build something of such a scale…”
I folded my arms over my chest with a loud, weary sigh. I could feel Fuchai’s eyes on me.
“Can it be done or not?” Fuchai snapped at the servant.
“It can—it can,” he said hurriedly. “So long as you decree it, Your Majesty.”
“I want a complete plan on my desk by midday tomorrow.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
But Fuchai was already focused on me once more, nudging my hand with his, his intentions impossible to mistake. This time I acquiesced, lifting my fingers and running them through his soft hair. “You really would do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” I murmured, staring down at him. The king who had just given his enemy the keys to his kingdom and didn’t realize it at all, his lips lifted in a contented smile, his features smooth. When the historians wrote about the fate of the Wu years from now, would they be able to capture this very moment? Would they know how the idea had bloomed? Would they blame him, or me?
“Of course I would,” he said, his smile widening. He looked at me how one would look upon a god. “Anything for you, my Xishi.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Thiswas how everything started.
