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It’s not an option for Jane, though—and not just because her dad lives on the other side of the country.

She drums her fingers on the desk.“It’s a pity we’re not married and living in a house in the suburbs together.With both of our salaries, we might even be able to buy something.”

“Two people don’t need to get married to live together.”

“But if I’m going to buy property with another person, I’d want some kind of commitment, and since I don’t see any romance in my future…”

“No?”I say.We haven’t talked about Jane’s love life in a long time.

“Dating is such a minefield, and how am I going to meet anyone on an app?How can I swipe left or right when I have no idea who I might eventually find attractive, once I know them better?Plus, there’s the pandemic.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of rough.”

“Maybe it’s the vodka talking, but I wish I could have an arranged marriage.Even though I literally haven’t had a relationship in five years, I think I’d like to get married, and that sounds so much simpler.”

“I guess your dad wouldn’t—”

“Ha!”

“You could arrange it yourself,” I suggest.

“Who would go for that?Would you?”

It’s certainly not what I imagined for myself.But relationships haven’t worked out well for me, have they?I’m tired of getting my heart broken.

I can’t give up hope, though.Not yet.

An acquaintance once said it should be easier for me to find someone because I’m not limited by gender, but it’s not that simple.

“In three years,” I say, “if neither of us has found anyone, we can have a small wedding and buy that house in the suburbs.”I’m not sure how serious I’m being.Everything is kind of weird these days.

“What about kids?”she asks.“I’d like one or two.”

I nod.“Sounds good.”

“But I, uh, won’t want to have sex, except for procreation purposes.Or we could have kids another way.You could sleep with other people, as long as it’s fairly discreet.I don’t want friends coming up to me and telling me that my husband is having an affair.”

It’s strange—in a nice way—how matter-of-fact this is.In my last relationship, we still hadn’t had a discussion about children by the six-month mark, and the idea of bringing it up made me anxious.But ultimately, that had nothing to do with why the relationship ended.

While not having sex in a marriage might not be my ideal situation, this does sound appealing.I mean, I know we get along—and for long periods of time, too.There are some friends I enjoy in small doses but nothing more.Jane, however, has traveled to Europe with me, and we weren’t about to murder each other at the end.

“That’s fine,” I say.

“I thought you were too much of a romantic to go for this.”She taps her finger against her chin.“Let’s make it more than three years.How about if we’re both still single by my thirty-third birthday, we’ll get engaged?”

About three and a half years, then.Her birthday is in early December.

I hold out my hand, my pointer finger touching the screen, and she holds out hers.We pretend to shake on it.

“Do you think handshakes will ever come back,” she says, “after this is all over?”

“I don’t know, but surely the pandemic won’t last beyond the end of the year, right?”

Chapter 1

Jane

It’shere.ThedayI thought might never come.