Page 58 of The Lost Reliquary
“Many, yes.” Here she pauses, considers me again, this time for longer. It’s not hesitation, exactly, but I can tell she’s choosing her words carefully. I am a stranger. And we are still close enough to a cleric to lodge an accusation or two. “Others turned around. Called the Goddess a demon made flesh and fled back to the safety of their homelands.” She shrugs. “Either way, my parents were paid. A sailor sails where there’s wages to be earned. And here, there aren’t many willing to trade with the… less reputable parts of the Devoted Lands, not when they can fall afoul of the Goddess’s devoted so easily. Be labeled a criminal or heretic and be punished.”
“But that doesn’t bother you.”
I can tell she hears the statement, not a question. “I have felt the Flame’s warmth and know it to be a true thing.” Not exactly a clear picture of her beliefs, or her loyalties. “I have also learned that those who hold the Goddess in their hearts can be persuaded to remain unbothered by my operations for the right price.” She pauses. “It took a lot of winds and waves to earn that experience, though. Your employer, on the other hand, seems quite confident in his destination for someone so young. I do hope he hasn’t taken a larger bite than he can chew.”
“If he has, that’s why I’m around for.”
She considers me. “And what about your interests? Do they lie upon the waters?”
“I don’t know.” Only half a lie. “Do I come off as the seafaring sort?”
“Hmm,” says Cleophas. “Too soon to tell. But you’ll know soon enough.” She winks before standing again. “I need to go see if preparations are complete for our departure. But please, stay. Indulge your interest. Certainly, I would never stifle the sea’s call, if that’s indeed what you’re hearing.”
It’s not, but just like Nolan, I can pretend.
By the time I return to the cabin, blood buzzing with the names of new lands and countries, it’s late enough that Nolan is curled in the bunk, face to the wall, sleeping. Or pretending to. I don’t plan to follow suit, despite his assurances. But I’ve never been on a ship, and foolishly underestimate the gentle lull of the water combined with my own growing exhaustion. So, when I do wake—with a start, in the thick dark of the deepest part of night—I’m more than a little surprised to be alive. As my pounding heart slows, accepting that Nolan has kept his word, I realize what has roused me: a voice. I keep still. The sound is barely there, faint as a mouse’s scratching, and it takes me nearly a minute to understand that what I’m hearing is Nolan.
He’s praying. I hear the recitation of the words, too faint for me to truly make out, but familiar enough that I don’t need to.
More surprise. I’d assumed Nolan’s frequent prayers were part of the act he used to lull me into a false sense of confidence. That his deep piety was part of the costume. But the whispers continue, and I begin to feel embarrassed, as if I am intruding on something private. Which is stupid—prayers were never a secretive thing in the Cloisters. And Nolan was never shy about them before. Still, the feeling persists until, finally, the devotions cease. I tense again, waiting for movement. The shifting of a body. The drawing of a blade. But there is only the sound of Nolan’s breathing, falling slowly into the rhythm of sleep.
Eventually, and more than a little reluctantly, I allow myself to follow.
Twenty-six
Our purpose is to serve. But secondary to that is to distinguish ourselves, in order that our opportunities to serve are the best they might be.
—WRITINGS OF PRIOR JEVGENI, THIRD PRIOR OF THE DUSK CLOISTER, IN THE ERA OF TEMPESTRA-SESILIA
THE FIRST TIMEIsee land as a thin strip of grayish green far in the distance, it’s a little disconcerting. No… a lot disconcerting. Ships, sailing, the ocean—all concepts I read about at the Cloisters, but the reality of being kept safe by nothing more than some bobbing bits of wood… there’s an unnerving nature to it I can’t ignore. The vastness of the water, heaving below us, stretching out to the horizon and beyond. There’s excitement, but apprehension as well, just like back at Cineris. I can’t deny the fear that comes from leaving the mainland behind, not all of which can be explained away by my divine tether.
Then I spot the dolphins. Another thing I’ve only ever seen in a book, they race alongside theSquid’s Shadow, more graceful than I could have imagined, their slick skin catching bits of sunlight as they rise and fall in the frothy waves.
Mishael, the cabin boy, wanders by, toting a sack of something or other.
“Hey!” I call to him. “Do you ever see whales out here?”
His features narrow, as if I’ve just asked the stupidest question he’s ever heard. “Sure, sometimes. You’ll see the plumes they make when they surface, if they’re about.”
Whales.I spend the next hour with my eyes glued to the water, hoping to spot one of the giant sea beasts. I left Nolan still asleep in the cabin, and I’m so intent on my sightings that I jump when he appears at the rail beside me.
“What are you doing?”
He sounds awfully sour for someone I left alive, when the opposite was tempting. I’m about to scold him for leaving the cabin unaccompanied, when I see the pallor of his skin—paler than normal, with a distinctly unhealthy tinge. “Watching for pirates. You look like shit.”
“I’m fine.”
He is most certainly not fine. His knuckles whiten on the rail, as if he thinks he’s going to tip over it at any moment. A thin pink scar remains where my sickle skewered him, and I’m briefly annoyed that we heal so fast, and that my little reminder will be soon forgotten. Even my injured arm is only a vague, occasional ache at this point. But Nolan appears so miserable that I’m nottoobothered.
“Maybe you should go back to bed.”
“I said I’mfine.”
“Oh.” I turn back to the ocean. “Okay, then. Well, just so you know, Mishael will be bringing your breakfast to the cabin shortly.”
He grimaces. “I don’t want it.”
“Are you sure? The cook makes a mean breakfast porridge apparently. Looked a little slimy to me, but that’s apparently from the fermented fish he uses to give it a salty, savory—”
