Page 11 of His Wicked Secret
“Defend yourself? You shouldn’t have to—”
She interrupted him. “What? I shouldn’t have to defend myself? Because a man should always be around to do it for me?”
“Well…”
“Good Lord, if that doesn’t exemplify the problems with this country, nothing does. Women are treated as incapable of anything outside of domestic duties, and should they wish to become more capable, they are told it is men’s dominion. As a result, I was most unprepared for what occurred this evening.”
“Exactly,” Jonathan replied. “You put yourself needlessly in harm’s way. You could have been taken by any of those men, and you might’ve been killed. Langley is a devil, and he was ready to do you real harm.”
“And no doubt to you the only sensible solution would be to stay home and stop getting into mischief.”
Audrey bit her lip, and he could see she was on the verge of tears. There had been an accusation in her tone. One that wasn’t aimed only at him, but society. It spoke volumes as to why she did the things she did. He walked over and knelt in front of her. Those lovely brown eyes of hers swallowed him up. He reached out and folded one of his hands over hers, and he hated how they trembled.
“You really wish to learn to fight?”
She slowly turned one of her hands over underneath his so that their palms connected. He felt a longing he was too afraid to face directly. She made him want things, a quiet life in the country, with heated kisses, children in cradles—damnation, she made him want a future he’d never dared to dream of until now.
Of course, he knew also that this little hellion wanted anything but a quiet country life. But it didn’t stop him from longing to share with her the life he knew he could finally have as a duke’s son.
The energy between them seemed to crackle and tighten, and he knew if he leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, a spark would light between them and he would tumble them back into bed. And then they would see a fire truly start.
“Would you teach me?”
Her question caught him off guard, but as he held her hand in his, he had a glimmer of hope of winning her heart. Whatever he had done to turn her away, to make her think him cold and cruel, he would prove she was wrong.
I am a warmhearted man, though I am a bit wicked, but I want you, Audrey. I want you so much it hurts.
If teaching her how to be strong, how to survive was a way to win her, then he would do it. Charles had once mentioned a way to woo a lady he called the Tutor Gambit, where a rogue would entice a lady into learning a skill. This would force the lady to spend a certain amount of time close to the rogue, making seduction a far easier thing.
“I will teach you, but it must be done secretly. No one can know.”
“Yes, you’re quite right. Cedric would be furious, and…” Audrey’s openness receded, and he could see her closing against him.
“Audrey…”
“This must be strictly a matter of business,” she said. “Strictly professional. Tell me you agree. No more kissing, no more anything, except for the lessons.”
Every painful blow he’d taken that night in the hellfire club, every punch and kick, nothing hurt as much as the words she’d just spoken. But he wouldn’t give her up, not until he did everything in his power to prove his worth to her. That he could care and honor her as a man and as a future husband. If he failed, she would be lost to him forever, and he could not imagine a future without her in it.
“Do you agree?” she repeated, her brown eyes dark and hard in a way he’d never seen before. She said she wasn’t strong? The woman facing him now, the one demanding this vow, was an absolute fortress of strength.
Jonathan thought furiously for some way to keep this professional yet… Then it came to him. “I agree on one condition.”
She still hadn’t withdrawn her hand from his. “I’m listening.”
“That you spend one night a week in my bed—untouched, of course.” He waited for the fireworks, and he was not disappointed.
“Yourbed? Why you—”
“Listen to me. I know you believe me to be cold and aloof, and perhaps someday I can change your mind on that matter. You also believe me to be a rogue, a charge I can hardly deny. But you are right about this—our arrangement must be strictly professional. What you must know is that this requires trust, more than you may realize. Passions intensify in combat. The heart quickens and the mind races. You fear the worst, and that fear can wind its way into your very blood. Rather than learn you will only react, the way a rabbit reacts to the sound of a broken twig. A rabbit is prey; it hears a threat. A fox hears the snapping of a twig and considers it an opportunity. You must be a fox. Teaching you to fight that way will require your trust.”
Audrey remained skeptical. “And you stand to gain no personal satisfaction from this arrangement?”
Jonathan grinned. “I never said that, and I wouldn’t be the rogue you believe me to be if I did. But I also believe it to be true. Think back on our adventure tonight. How often you held back or resisted me when I suggested a course of action that was in your own best interests. You do not fully trust me. Or perhaps you do not fully trust yourself around me. If you can sleep beside me, without fear that I will cross a boundary of propriety, then you will be able to participate in our lessons without distraction.”
Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of crimson. “But how could thatnotdistract me?”
“Fighting requires physical proximity. My body will be on top of yours. I will be touching you. This cannot be avoided. If you can grow accustomed to my presence and not be concerned with the inappropriateness of it, the same will hold true with anyone else. You will stand a better chance in a fight because you won’t be distracted.”
