Page 81 of His Wicked Secret
It took nearly a quarter of an hour to return to Calais and board their ship. Ashton ordered the captain to sail immediately and kept a watchful eye for any trouble from the port. If the gendarmes sounded the alarm, the French naval ships in the port could still attack them.
Jonathan went below to find the ship’s surgeon, a gray-haired man named Lewis. Audrey was already there, lying flat cot in the infirmary. Her white shirt had been ripped open. Cedric couldn’t watch while the doctor finished his examination.
“She was shot?” Dr. Lewis asked.
“Yes. By a pistol, close range,” Jonathan added.
The doctor bent over, carefully raising her chemise to just underneath her breasts and examined the wound. Blood oozed in a deep gash along her stomach, and he probed it carefully. Then he felt under her back and grimaced.
“It appears to be a graze.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” asked Jonathan.
“Don’t confuse a graze with a scratch,” the doctor warned. “I mean that the wound does not seem to have hit any organs, and the bullet did not embed itself in her, but the cut is still deep. She has lost some blood.”
“Will she live?” asked Cedric.”
“Once I clean the wound and stitch it back up, she may recover. I suggest you both wait outside.”
Godric and Jonathan shared a look. “We’re staying.”
“I was being polite,” the doctor growled. “Outside, both of you. I need peace and space to work.”
Jonathan gave Audrey’s limp hand a final squeeze before the pair exited the infirmary. Cedric leaned against the wall, but after a moment he slid down and covered his face with his hands. Jonathan stared at the wooden wall across from him, unseeing. He felt numb, numb from pain, numb from fear. Numb from the knowledge that he could lose the only woman he had ever dared to love.
“This is my fault,” Cedric said. Jonathan was shocked to see tears staining his face.
“It isn’t your fault,” Jonathan said. “It’s mine. Avery and I tried to get her to safety, but she came after us. I should have known she wouldn’t listen to me.”
Cedric shook his head. “I never should’ve scared off those men who came to court her. I drove her to her rebellious nature. If I hadn’t interfered, she might be happily married to some quiet, kind fellow, making plans for motherhood and attending balls.”
Jonathan didn’t want to picture that, at least not her with another man, but if it meant she would be alive and safe, he would’ve given anything to reverse time and give her that quiet, happy life.
But he knew Audrey. She wasn’t destined for a quiet life. She was a woman who wanted to fight, to earn her place in life, and to make a difference. He realized now how foolish he’d been in his own idealized visions of their married life together. Audrey would never settle for a quiet, uneventful life. She was a fighter, a petite Amazon. That would never change.
And he realized, despite nearly dying at the hands of those French soldiers, that he wanted to be beside her every moment on every adventure. He’d always had a wild side, but ever since he’d become a gentleman he’d done his best to repress it, thinking foolishly that Audrey needed a man who was settled to calm her down. What she truly needed was a man who would be with her on each grand step forward in her life, not holding her back.
“Audrey would never marry a quiet, sensible man,” Jonathan said. He rested his elbows on his bent knees and let his head fall back against the door.
“I suppose you’re right. From the day she was born, I knew she was meant for greater things. She wasn’t like me or Horatia. She had stars in her eyes and dreams so big they didn’t seem possible.” A wry smile curled Cedric’s lips. “I should have known she was serious about this spy business.”
“I knew she was serious, but I never thought she would leave, not after…”
“After what?” Cedric asked.
Jonathan blew out a breath and summoned the courage. He was going to marry Audrey if she survived this, and damn anyone who got in his way.
“After she accepted my marriage proposal.” He waited, wondering if Cedric would erupt with fury. For months, everyone in the League had told him that Cedric approved of the match, but Cedric’s overprotectiveness and impossible standards when it came to his sisters’ happiness were legendary.
“You finally asked her?” Cedric snorted. “About bloody time.”
“You’re not upset? I was worried after you and Lucien…”
“You aren’t Lucien. You don’t have the history with women that he does. And Audrey is not like Horatia. Horatia has a sweet heart and a tough exterior. She needed my protection, even though she didn’t know it. I had to make sure the man who won her heart was worthy of it.” He paused, his brown eyes steady as he looked at Jonathan. “But I never worried about Audrey. Yes, she shall always be my sweet kitten, but inside, she is made of steel. She never needed my protection. Whatever man she chose for herself, he would be the right man. And…I suppose I just didn’t want her to grow up too fast.” His lips twitched. “But her instincts were true. The moment she chose you, whatever small worries I had about her future, I let go because I know you are the one for her.”
“I must admit, I never felt worthy of her,” Jonathan confessed.
“Nor should you,” Cedric said, allowing himself a small grin. “But does any man when it comes to the woman he loves? I’ll never be worthy of Anne or the ground she walks upon. We are but mortal men who dare to love goddesses.”
