Page 63 of I Could Have Missed This
“They destroyed all my paintings,” he cries while I look for anything to say. What do I say in this situation? They’ve completely trashed the place. What did they want?
“They… they knew,” Kai stutters, sobs escaping him now.
“Knew what Kai?” Teddy asks, pacing around the room. He looks at the table that’s been flipped over.
“They… they asked about Ben. They knew I was with him before he… before he went away,” he says before scrunching up his face in pain. Teddy looks at him in horror as Kai startsbreathing through his teeth. I take the canvas from him and that’s when I see it. His shirt is red.
There’s so much red.
Blood is spilling out of his abdomen. His white t-shirt is stained red. Why would someone do this? What did Kai ever do?
He’s my best friend. They did this to send a message to me. This is my fault.
“It hurts Noah. Am I going to die?” Kai asks through tears. Teddy is already phoning 999. I bend down to Kai.
“No no, don’t worry, you’ll be okay,” I tell him, not knowing if I’m trying to convince him or me.
“I tried… to get better. I tried to paint because it’s all I had left. And they’ve only gone and taken that from me,” he cries. A hopelessness resides in his eyes.
“But you can paint new ones. I know you can. I’ll buy you new stuff, eh? We can go after you get patched up,” I say, looking at him dead in the eye. But his eyes don’t meet mine. His breath is ragged, and his body is trembling.
“But what if this is it?”
“No, don’t say that, Kai,” I croak out. “I’m so sorry, I should have been here to protect you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” I say as my tears spill. I wipe Kai’s tears from his cheeks as he breathes heavily.
“Is it a sign?”
My eyes widen.
“A sign for what?” I ask, looking back at Teddy. “Is the ambulance coming, Teddy?” I ask urgently.
“They’re coming as soon as they can they said,” Teddy replies, not knowing where to look.
“Maybe I shouldn’t do this. I just… can’t… anymore,” Kai says quietly.
“Kai, look at me,” I say as he finally faces me. “I know I wasn’t there for a while. I should have been here for you. I was selfish.But I’m here now. You can’t give up. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ll get through this,” I finish in a whisper.
“I just don’t want to keep… fuck. I’m just so tired. I feel cold. Isn’t that what they say happens before you die?” he asks before sobs escape him. “Oh my god, I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
“No, please don’t start feeling hopeless, okay?” I plead, but he isn’t listening. His eyes aren’t meeting mine. Suddenly, his eyes begin to close as he slumps into my arms.
“Kai! No no no, don’t you dare. Please,” I plead, trying to keep him awake. I shake his shoulder and check his breathing.
“Teddy!” I scream, and he comes running towards us.
“The ambulance should be outside now,” he says, leaning down beside us.
“He’s not awake, he’s…” I say as I sob. The tears come thick and fast as my throat closes up.
“I can’t lose him, Ted,” I cry, continuing to shake his shoulders. “We need the fucking Ambulance now!” I shout, my heart bounces in my chest as gut-wrenching tears shake me to my core. In the corner of my eye, I notice my bedroom door has been taken off the hinges. There’s a word written on the wall of my bedroom.
LEAVE is written in blood again, red lines forming down the wall like tears.
The restof the day is a blur. I felt like I was running on autopilot. We told the doctors what had happened and Kai was taken away in a stretcher. Teddy and I are sitting in the waiting room, my head’s in my hands.
“Are you okay?” Teddy asks, putting an arm around me. He plays with my hair.
“No, I’m not,” I snap, sitting up. Teddy begins to fidget while he thinks of something to say.
