Page 11 of A Baxter Family Christmas
With that, Hayley yawned and stretched. “I’m going to go lay down. I want to help with the pies later on.”
Maddie watched her make her way to the front room. She still went to therapy three times a week and these days, though she still moved slowly, she walked with barely a limp. Her studies were going well—as long as she had a tutor. But no matter how she improved, Hayley would never be exactly normal.
And here was the reason Maddie had asked God for a Christmas miracle. Not for herself, but for Hayley. A miracle that would prove to Maddie that God was there. That He cared about Hayley’s future. That He hadn’t given up on her little sister.
Because this was the secret she’d never told anyone. The fact that she alone was to blame for all of Hayley’s struggles and special needs and handicaps. All of it was Maddie’s fault.
And though she never talked about that, she felt it deeply. On the inside she had carried the reality of that every day for the last thirteen years. Each day at her lowest moments she could still hear her daddy’s voice. “Maddie, keep an eye on your sister. Don’t take your eyes off her. Don’t let her go near the pool.” She could hear her father’s desperate cry as he looked for Hayley that afternoon at the birthday party. Still hear him shouting from the depths of his being. “No! Hayley, no!”
She could see him diving to the bottom of the deep end and swooping Hayley’s limp body back to the surface.
Maddie felt her breath catch in her throat. She couldn’t do this. Not here, the day before Thanksgiving. With practiced skill she stuffed her guilt and regret to the bottom of her heart.
“Maddie?” Her mother walked up, studying her. “You okay?”
A half a heartbeat and Maddie recovered. “I’m fine. Are Aunt Kari and Uncle Ryan coming today?” Their daughter Jessie was sixteen and one of Maddie’s favorite cousins.
“I think so.” Her mom kissed the top of her head and walked to her sister. “Hey, Ashley, have you heard from Kari?”
Maddie’s Aunt Ashley was pulling her china down from a cabinet at the far end of the kitchen. “She’ll be here any minute.”
That was close.Maddie left the sink and returned to the silver. She picked up a spoon and rubbed it with polish. Her cousin Jessie usually helped her with this job. Once Jessie got here everything would be okay. Seeing Hayley struggle was always so hard. Maddie played tennis for the high school team and usually won every meet, while Hayley couldn’t catch a tennis ball if her life depended on it. In the winter, Maddie would take to the ice rink and figure-skate with her friends. Hayley couldn’t lace up a pair of skates. Even brushing her teeth was difficult for Hayley.
It wasn’t fair, and all of it was because of Maddie.
But still she had never told anyone. Not even her mom and dad. As if by admitting her guilt to any of them, it might be too much. Too true. And then Maddie would suffocate from the shame and heartache.
Maddie’s phone buzzed. She wiped her hands on a clean rag, and pulled her cell from her pocket. The text was from her cousin Jessie.Hey girl, sorry I’m late. Annie wasn’t feeling good, so my dad’s staying home with her and RJ. We’ll be there in a few minutes.
A smile lifted Maddie’s spirits. Jessie would help take her mind off Hayley. That’s how it worked for her. The more distractions the better. Like the distraction of Connor Flanigan the other day.
After the callback audition, and after they worked with Bailey to choose a cast for the Christmas show, Connor had asked her out for coffee. At first the idea had made her dizzy in the very best way. The chemistry between them was incredible. But then Maddie reminded herself of Hayley. She could be friends with Connor. Nothing more. And so she had given herself permission to go—as friends.
Their time together came back to her, filling her mind and giving her a reprieve from her guilt over Hayley. They had taken a booth near the front window, and Connor had bought her a vanilla latte. Everything about the next few hours felt like a dream.
He was tall and handsome and funny. When he talked he seemed more honest than other boys their age. Like he had nothing to hide. And he listened to her. Really listened. That day she hadn’t felt like any other senior girl at Greenbriar Academy. Connor Flanigan had made her feel like a princess.
One of the things she liked most about him was his love for Jesus. Connor had talked about God like He was a best friend. And something else. Connor wanted to be a prayer leader at Liberty next year. Maddie had loved it when Connor talked about that. He had also told her he wanted to work in film production after he graduated. “There’s a lot of ways to be a light in this world,” Connor had told her. “Making movies that help people see the truth about God—that’s what I feel called to do.”
She had told him about her parents being doctors and how their family ran a crisis pregnancy center in honor of her cousin who only lived a few hours and how after college she wanted to teach elementary school children.
Then he’d said something she would always remember. “I’m sure you’ll be a great teacher, Maddie.” He’d leaned closer, his eyes bright. “But if that doesn’t work out, you can star in one of my movies. I couldn’t find a prettier leading lady.”
“Well... I’ll have to keep that in mind.” Maddie had grinned. She no longer felt her feet touching the floor. She had never liked any boy the way she liked him. “Just in case the teaching thing doesn’t work out.”
He’d told her about his family, too. How he had four brothers—three of them adopted from Haiti. And that his father was a football coach with the Indianapolis Colts.
“My aunt and uncle know a family with kids from Haiti. They came to a few of our family parties when I was younger.” Maddie loved how he made her feel. Like she was the only person in the coffee shop.
“My parents probably know them.” Connor grinned. “Seems like we meet more and more people who have kids from Haiti.”
“Was it hard? Bringing in brothers from another country?” Maddie could only imagine the way Connor’s family must’ve come together with the addition of the three boys. “Did they even speak English?”
“Not at first. We had a lot of funny moments in the beginning.” Connor had laughed, as if he could see those days playing out again in his mind. “They were best friends, all three of them about six years old when they came home. They only knew Creole. It took about a week before my parents realized they needed to separate the boys at the dinner table. Otherwise they’d just talk to each other.”
Maddie had listened, amazed. “I so admire your family. Y’all gave those boys a whole new life.”
“In Haiti they used to eat dirt cakes just so they wouldn’t be hungry. About six months after they came home, when they could speak English, they told us what their lives used to be like. It’s a miracle they survived at all. God had a plan for them.”
