Page 26 of To the Moon and Back
That was it . Suit yourself. He didn’t ask what she was struggling with. He didn’t tell her he was sorry about the miscarriage, and he didn’t ask why the Bible spoke to her so deeply. Just Suit yourself.
Sometimes she would try to talk to Dan about her miscarriage and even about losing her parents. Especially when the losses built and grew in her heart until she could barely breathe. Dan would usually change the subject. Death and loss made him uncomfortable. When Jenna felt like crying, Dan always found other places to be.
Eventually those places involved other women.
A week before their second anniversary, Dan announced that he was moving to London. A better job, he told her. But the next week he expanded on that. He didn’t want to be married anymore. Didn’t want the possibility of more babies. Didn’t want to be a father. Jenna nearly suffocated from the shock, but she couldn’t fall apart completely.
She had her job and her students. She had the strength of God.
Dan left three days later and Jenna never heard from him again. Once he was gone, she drove to Lake Michigan for a weekend. To clear her head and her heart. And there, on a beach chair overlooking the water, Jenna made a promise to God. Never again would she marry a man who didn’t share her faith.
The promise was as much for her as it was for God. She would rather be single than raise a family with a man who couldn’t understand why she read her Bible. She wanted a man who would read the Bible with her.
Period.
But a year passed and then two more, and she remained single. Guys would cross her path, but none of them shared her faith. When she’d find out that they had no interest in going to church, she would move on.
Because she absolutely would not consider breaking her promise to God.
And so she had figured a way to make a life for herself alone. With a small inheritance from her grandmother and her teaching salary she got along just fine. She was even ready to visit the memorial again—something she hadn’t done since the year she met Brady.
This summer she would make the drive to Oklahoma City. That was the plan.
She had a reason. Each victim of the bombing had a glass box for mementos in a designated room at the memorial museum. A worker at the memorial had told Jenna that her parents’ boxes currently had only their black-and-white photos from the news accounts that day. Nothing more. Jenna wanted to do something about that. So she had gathered copies of several of her parents’ photos and letters. Items she could laminate and take to the memorial.
Besides, Jenna had avoided the memorial long enough. This coming summer it would be time. Proof that Jenna was moving forward. Getting on with her life. Ready to distance herself from all things Oklahoma City Bombing. That’s how she felt. Or at least it was how she usually felt. Every day except today, when all she wanted to do was find the one person on earth who truly understood her.
Brady.
Only then could she see if he had made peace with God, the way she had. A month ago when she finalized her plans to drive to Oklahoma City, she began to pray for Brady, asking God to let their paths cross. Even for one more day. So she could see if he was okay. If he believed again.
It was the reason she had bought the Giving Key. The reason she had it engraved with the numbers that represented her life. Her journey of faith. She wasn’t stuck at the moment of the bombing. She had moved on. Tragedy and loss didn’t define her. Her personalized key was a constant reminder of her healing.
Her life after the tragedy.
It was a key she would give Brady, if she ever saw him again. Whether he was still running away from God or not. The key could at least remind Brady that God wanted his return. Because Brady was the only other person in her world who would understand the numbers on the key, and the healing they represented. Jenna ran her thumb over the etching. It was the only thing she could’ve engraved on the key.
9:03.
8
A shley mustn’t have explained the situation right, because Landon wanted nothing to do with contacting Brady Bradshaw. Even if the stranger was a firefighter.
When Landon and Ryan had come back to the hotel, they’d dropped the younger kids off with the older cousins. Then both men had listened to Ashley talk about what had happened. How the stranger at the fence had seemed so upset.
Like he could barely breathe for the weight of his losses. Whatever they were.
“I thought you might want to reach out to him.” Ashley had finished the story and taken Landon’s hand. “Maybe we could help him find the girl. Jenna.”
Landon had stared at her for a long moment, like he was waiting for the punch line in a not-very-funny joke. “You’re not serious, Ash.”
Across the room, Kari had shrugged in Ashley’s direction. “I tried to tell you.”
Ryan had seemed completely confused. “You want Landon to reach out to some guy he doesn’t know and offer to help him find a girl none of us has ever met?”
When he put it that way, Ashley felt ridiculous. “Never mind.” She’d let the idea go for then. “You’re right.”
There was no point debating it. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the image of Brady out of her mind. What if they could do something to help? A couple times that evening Kari and Landon had asked her if she was okay. She’d told them she was. But later that night, Landon had pulled her close and apologized. “You were serious about that Brady guy.” He searched her eyes. “Weren’t you?”
