Page 42 of When We Were Young
She shrugged, and tears blurred her eyes. “I told you I didn’t want to go. But I wanted to support you, Ryan. I still do.” She shook her head. “But Arizona? In just a few months? Like, is it a done deal?”
“Yes.” The slight lines at the corners of his eyes steeled and his voice grew more resigned. He drew a slow breath. “I accepted the position.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry. I... I should’ve told you.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Wait... what?” Kari stood. She walked a few feet toward the television and then spun around and stared at him. “You said we’d talk it over, that you’d tell me before you accepted it.”
Ryan grabbed the remote and flicked off the TV. “Sit down, Kari. Please.”
“No.” She kept her voice in check. The kids were sleeping. “You said you’d tell me first.”
He stood then, too. “You said you’d support me. No matter what.” He raised his hands. “So when the athletic director called, and I just... I felt the freedom to tell him yes.”
A loud outbreath came from her. “And when were you going to tell me?”
“Later tonight.” He glanced at the dark TV and back at her. As ifSportsCentermight’ve been more important somehow. He closed the distance between them. “I’m sorry... I should’ve found you sooner.”
“I mean, I’m in shock here, Ryan.” She shook her head. “I guess there’s nothing to discuss.” She gave him a sad look and walked toward their bedroom without looking back.
They hadn’t really talked about it in the days since. Kari still felt hurt. If they weren’t supposed to think of themselves first, how come Ryan hadn’t talked with her before agreeing to the move? A sick feeling worked its way through her. The kids were going to be so upset.
Even still, with all of that, she meant what she’d told him when he first brought it up. She would go if he wanted her to go. Obviously.
She would think of him before herself. That’s what she believed about marriage and she would follow through with her actions. A part of her was actually happy for him. Even now. But Arizona? When the school year ended?
She opened her eyes and looked at her sleeping older daughter again. After they told the kids, there would be no going back. Everything would be different. The tone in their home would be forever changed. Kari felt the weight of the situation like a wet blanket on her shoulders. Since finding out about Ryan’s new position, she had gradually gotten used to the idea. Every day she had accepted the move a little more. She wanted to be supportive. The kids would understand, too.
But it would take time. Because everything they loved about living in Bloomington, near sisters and cousins and parents and grandparents, was about to become part of the past. The reality took Kari’s breath.
Two tears slid onto her cheeks. She dabbed at them with the palm of her hand. As terrible as the move would be, and as much as telling the kids was going to kill her, the worst part was something simmering deep in Kari’s soul. Because of the way Ryan had handled all this, she’d lost a little faith in him. Like she and Ryan weren’t on the same team anymore. And now she felt distant from him. More so every day. Even tonight, when the focus was on Noah and Emily.
Like the two of them were oceans apart.
•••
ASHLEY BAXTER BLAKEsat up in bed, eyes wide open, and stared out the window. The lightning in the distance was beautiful tonight. She sighed. Ever since her sister Kari had called earlier and asked her to pray for the couple in their Bible study, she hadn’t been able to sleep. Ashley had been caught up in the one detail her sister gave her.
Social media.
She breathed deep and sighed again. As she did, her husband, Landon, rolled onto his side and faced her. “You can’t sleep?”
“Sorry.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to keep you up. I’ll go downstairs.”
“It’s okay.” He smiled at her. “I have an idea.” He reached out and touched her face, her cheek. “Let’s take a walk and watch the storm as it comes in. Nothing better than a thunderstorm approaching the old Baxter house.”
This was just one more reason why Ashley loved him so much. “Really?” She checked the clock on her nightstand. “It’s one in the morning.”
“Perfect. The storm should be here in half an hour. At least according to the Weather Channel.”
They both stepped out of bed and got dressed. Then they quietly tiptoed past the kids’ rooms, downstairs and out the back door. For a few seconds they stood there, listening to the low rumble of thunder, and watching the distant sky light up every few seconds.
“I love a good storm.” Landon put his arm around her shoulders and eased her against his body. “This lifetime could never have enough moments like this.” He kissed her head. “Not if we live a hundred years.”
The wind in the bare trees overhead was picking up. Ashley felt dizzy from his words soft against her cheek, the poetry in his soul. She turned and faced him. “I love you, Landon. If I haven’t said so lately.”
“I love you, too.” He ran his hands through her hair. “You have the most beautiful hair. Has anyone ever told you that?”
Their eyes held, and they both smiled. They were the same words that dear Irvel had once said to Ashley. Irvel, the oldest resident at the Sunset Hills Adult Care Home. The place where Ashley had worked back at the beginning, when she and Landon were trying to figure out their feelings for each other.
“Sweet Irvel.” Ashley’s voice was a whisper. The storm was getting closer. The light piercing the sky made everything about the moment feel otherworldly. “I still miss her.”
