Page 41 of When We Were Young
Finally he took a deep breath and turned to her. “It happened.”
“What?” Her heart beat so loud she wondered if he could hear it. “Something at work?”
Ryan had taken hold of her hands. “Remember in August when I heard from University of Arizona? They talked to me about joining their football staff?”
Kari’s mind raced. “You... you let it go.” She hesitated. “And we decided we didn’t want to move.” Her eyes met his. “Right? Wasn’t that what we said?”
“It was. But I told you, I’d already sent them my résumé.” He seemed to try to keep his thrill of the moment at bay. But there was no hiding the fact that he was happy about something. “I didn’t hear back, so I thought they’d gone in a different direction.” He searched her face. “Until earlier today.”
Suddenly it was all Kari could do to exhale. “They called?”
“The head coach. And, the athletic director was on the line.” Ryan held her hands a little tighter. “Kari, they want me on staff. I’d be the first assistant. Answering directly to the head coach.”
“The season is almost over.” Her voice grew quiet beneath the sound of her own breathing. Fast breaths that came one on top of the other. “Why now? And you mean... they want you in... Arizona?”
“The head coach is retiring next year, Kari. No one knows yet.” Ryan hadn’t been able to keep from smiling. Even just a little. “With my NFL coaching experience, they want me to run the program a year from now.”
As long as Kari had loved Ryan she had never seen him look so hopeful. Like all his life he’d waited for this opportunity. The news swirled in her mind and finally she asked just one question. “When?”
Ryan sat straighter in the swing. “Soon.” His smile faded. “They want me in a few months. February, probably.” He hurried on to the details, as if even in his excitement he knew this part of the news wasn’t good. “You and the kids could take a while longer to join me. So they could finish the school year. Maybe move in late May or early June.”
The swing felt like it was giving way, breaking free from the porch ceiling and floating into space. Late May or early June? Their family was moving to Arizona at the end of the school year?
Everything Kari had known to be right and true about marriage, all the things she had ever taught about looking out for your spouse rather than yourself came over her all at once. Gradually she caught her breath and settled her racing heart.
With all the love she had for Ryan Taylor, she looked deep to the place in his heart that belonged only to her. “I don’t want to go. You know that.”
“Yes. I... I haven’t accepted the offer, Kari.” He searched her eyes. “I won’t take it if you don’t want to move.” He ran his thumbs over her hands. “We’re a team. Always.”
Kari nodded. And in that moment she found the words she never thought she’d say. “If you think we should move to Arizona, Ryan, then we’ll move.” Tears filled her eyes.
Since then they’d had half a dozen conversations about when they might tell the kids, and how Jessie would feel finishing high school and then moving to Arizona, more than 1,500 miles away. Immediately after graduation. They talked then about the long-term future for Ryan in Arizona. Kari was surprised they were interested in him, honestly. He had no college experience. Yes, he’d been an assistant for the Giants before they married, but that was nearly two decades ago. Since then he’d led the program at Clear Creek High.
Mostly so he could be with Kari and start their family.
Ryan’s reputation as a coach must’ve been greater than Kari realized. Sure, the idea of being a head coach at a major university had crossed Ryan’s mind every few years. But he’d always decided that their life in Bloomington was more important than taking a college coaching job.
And Kari had always loved him for it.
The more they’d talked, the more Ryan’s enthusiasm for the Arizona job had grown. As it did, Kari did a little research. What about Indiana University, a few miles from their home? What about the Colts, where their friend Jim Flanigan coached?
The Internet turned up no obvious job openings on either staff. So a few days ago after the kids were in bed, Kari found Ryan in the TV room watchingSportsCenter. He muted the sound as she sat beside him.
“Hi.” She smiled and faced him.
“Hey.” He leaned in and kissed her. Just long enough to underline how happy he still was. “What’s up?”
Kari kept an easy tone. She wasn’t coming against his job offer, just looking for options. Ways they might stay in Bloomington. “This might sound obvious.” She paused but only for a few seconds. “What about Indiana University? Or the Colts?” Now that she had broached the subject she couldn’t stop herself. “It just seems since everyone around here knows you and those teams are local, maybe you could see if there’s an opening there?”
His smile dropped off a little. “You don’t think I’ve looked?” Hurt filled his eyes. “You think Iwantto move us across country?”
“It’s your choice.” Kari couldn’t stop herself. “You’re the one who wants something new. No one else wants to live in Arizona, I can promise you that.” She regretted her words as soon as she’d said them. But she couldn’t take them back. Besides, they were the truth. Her feelings—no matter how they came across.
“Wow.” He stood and for a long moment he just stared at her. “So that’s how you really feel?”
Be honest, Kari,she told herself. “Yes.” Her eyes locked on his. “That’s how I feel.”
Ryan’s shoulders sank. He returned to his spot next to her. A dazed look came over him. “Why didn’t you say so? When I first told you?”
