Page 73 of The Baxters
Ashley pulled the card from inside and opened it, careful not to bend it. One day when Cole was older, she might share cards like this with him. She would tell Cole about Landon, the man who had loved her for so long.
The one who had saved his life.
She found the first line and started to read. After spending the last several hours with Landon, it was easy to hear his voice between the lines.
Dear Ashley,
I meant to send you this a year ago. But this is better than waiting another day. I remember when my mother called and told me you had your baby. She and your mom keep in touch, of course. At first I thought I’d give you a call, congratulate you over the phone. So you could hear my voice and know how happy I am for you.
But I figured you wouldn’t take my call. I mean, you haven’t let me get through to you for a few years now. Sure, we danced at the wedding. But for all I know you won’t let me talk to you tonight. So I decided to write.
Ashley, it’s overdue, but congratulations on the birth of little Cole! Congrats on having him in your life. After today, after seeing moreof him, I can say he is the most beautiful baby in the world. He looks just like you, Ash. Your face, your blue eyes. I hope I have the chance to watch him grow up because I know he’ll be an amazing boy.
Because you’re an amazing mom.
I guess I just wanted to say that I know this isn’t how you saw your life going. Whatever happened in Paris, you didn’t plan to get pregnant. Obviously.
But if you’ll let Him, God can make good out of every situation. I promise, Ashley. Every child, every life, is a miracle from Him. As if God is saying, “Here, Ashley. I’m trusting you with this tiny child.”
Ashley stopped there and closed her eyes. Maybe God shouldn’t have trusted her with Cole. Her carelessness had almost cost her baby his life. She squeezed her eyes shut.Stop,she told herself.Don’t talk to yourself like that.
Landon was right. She needed to believe she was a good mother if she was going to take her job more seriously. Her negative talk had never helped anyone, least of all herself.
She blinked her eyes open and finished the letter.
Now that Cole is nearly one, you probably see how fast time flies. His high school graduationwill be here before you know it. So raise him to the light. Make God proud that He picked you for baby Cole.
I haven’t given up on us, just so you know. You having Cole doesn’t change the way I feel, the way I believe that somehow, someday we’ll find our way back together. Tonight, dancing with you in my arms, made me remember just how much you matter to me. How deeply I feel for you. If things go right, I might share all this in person tonight. We’ll see.
Either way, give me a chance, Ashley. Please, give me a chance.
This past year I wish I had been there to help you, to hold Cole when you needed sleep or feed him when you were tired at the end of the day. But I guess that part wasn’t meant to be.
Until I see you again, I’ll pray for you. And for Cole. And maybe we can spend a few hours together before I head back to Baylor for my senior year.
Love you still. Love you always,
Landon
Her hands trembled as she stared at the card. Then, as if his words quenched a thirst deep inside her, she read the letter again. Then she held it to her chest.Landon really did love her. Would he really run if he knew the truth about Paris?
She had decided not to tell him, once the storm passed. The moment seemed unnecessary since her mind was made up. She couldn’t shut him out of her life entirely. Sitting in the basement with her family she’d realized she would be forever indebted to Landon for saving Cole’s life. They would always be friends, so there was no need to ruin his memory of who she once was, no reason to give him a reason to be disgusted with her.
Ashley returned the card to the envelope and took it to her room. There, she placed it in her drawer. Landon deserved the girl she used to be before the accident. The one he had saved himself for. Ashley’s wild living and rebellion against God and her family had changed everything.
But she was glad she had spared him the sordid details.
The morning hours were coming, and Ashley needed sleep as badly as her baby did. She changed into sweats and a nightshirt and tugged a pair of socks over her feet. A few minutes to brush her teeth and wash her face and Ashley was in bed.
Only she was still wide awake.
She kept thinking about Landon’s last words to her before he left tonight.
Maybe you take the next year and ask God if He’s real. Ask Him if He has good plans for you, Ashley. The way I believe He does.
Was it possible? That God was real and somewhere down the road He had good plans for her? So she wouldn’t be the family mess-up? The one who’d gone astray?
What if she took Landon’s advice and actually asked God if He was real?
