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“Bigger,” I grudgingly admit.
“What about his hair? It looks so soft.”
Picturing the short, loose sandy-brown curls that proclaim a probable biracial heritage, I grind out, “Softer.”
“Damn. Is he as pretty?”
“Prettier.” I release another sigh. A much-aggrieved sigh, not an oh-my-God-let-me-worship-that-mouth-with-this-pussy sigh.It’s nuanced, but a big difference. “But then he ruined it.” I suck my teeth. “I just wanted to punch him in the mouth. Wouldn’t be the first time for him, I’m sure. Probably got fake teeth anyway,” I mutter.
“I can’t with you.” Noni continues to get her amusement on at my expense. “I’m sorry, babe, but from what I’ve seen, that man could vote for Trump and I still might gift wrap this kitty cat for him.”
“You’re terrible. And a sellout.” Shaking my head, I ease forward, pressing on the accelerator as the light changes.
“And is.” The sound of a door opening and closing hits my ears, and a soft grunt.
“What’re you doing?”
“Getting a glass of grape-cranberry juice. This whole thing has made me thirsty as hell. Anyway, he accused you of possible extortion, and then what? How did you leave it?”
“With me apologizing again and calling him a royal asshole.”
An abusive one. My imagination wants to convince me that he flinched just a little bit when I lobbed that word at him. But she isn’t a reliable source. She and my vagina are in cahoots about assigning Solomon Young softer, more human attributes than he deserves.
“Well damn.” She chuckles. “Did he yank you up, spread you on that table, and tear that pussy up for getting loose at the mouth?”
Goddamn.
Now that’s all I can picture.
And with all that anger writhing under that pretty almond skin, he’d probably tear my pants down my legs, literally rip my panties from my hips, and leave bruises on the inside of my thighs when he pushed them so far apart my hips would twinge ...
“You’re seeing it right now, aren’t you?” Noni’s cackle is positively deviant.
“Ireallycan’t stand you,” I hiss. “And no, he didn’t do that. The man looked at me like I was shit on the bottom of his shoe, not like he wanted to fuck. I didn’t give him a chance to say anything sincehe could provoke Jesus into throwing a punch. I got my ass up out of there.”
But not before giving him the link to my private online journal.
I don’t tell Noni that; I don’t know why.
Maybe because I can’t even adequately explain to myself why I gave him access to that part of me. The painfully private side. The vulnerable side. The walking-wounded side. Saying it’s because I violated his privacy so it’s only fair that I return the favor is too ... simplified. Too easy. It’s more than that, because I didn’t even know I was going to go through with it until I did. Giving him that card, even after he’d talked to me as he did ... yeah, I can’t make sense of it. And just thinking about him reading my journal entries has nerves marching down my spine like a battalion of ants.
My only saving grace? I’m never likely to see him again. It’s not like firefighters and professional hockey players inhabit the same circles.
“Look, all kidding aside, Dina,” Noni says. “I’m sure, given everything he’s gone through, his demeanor is a little ... rough. Not an excuse to be a bitch to people, but still, understandable. Plus, throw in him being an athlete, and somewhat of a celebrity one at that, the chances are high that people have come at him sideways on some foul shit. So he could be forgiven for thinking the worst.”
I mug her even though she can’t see me.
“Are you really defending him?”
“Buuut.” She raises her voice over my objection. “He doesn’t know you or your heart. I know both. And that’s his bad and loss, not yours. So don’t be over there, internalizing what he said. You know who you are, and one hockey player doesn’t change that. You better walk like the bad bitch you are!”
I laugh, a little bit of the weight from my meeting with Solomon Young shifting and evaporating from my chest.
“Thank you for that. I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” I hit the turn signal and turn on the street nearest the firehouse. “I needto go. I’m almost at the station. Send me a pic of your hair when ol’ girl is done with it.”
“Ol’ girl?” Noni cracks up at how I referenced her sister. “Watch. One day you and Minnie are going to figure out y’all’s shit and we’re going to be a hot-ass threesome.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say I didn’t have shit to work out with her sister since I didn’t have the problem, but I’ma let her have it.
