Page 27 of Played
“Look, Matt. I don’t want to start any problems or cause any issues between us or at work. So like I said before, I’d rather just keep it at friends or colleagues. No offense or hard feelings, okay?”
He runs his gaze up and down my body, and I force myself not to shudder at the disgusting and fucking inappropriate gesture. If he were anyone else, I’d tell him to fuck right on off. But he isn’t just anyone. Not only is he a coworker, but he’s a driver engineer, which means his rank is higher than mine.
And he’s an entitled man.
Rejecting a man isn’t simple anymore; it’s a double-edged sword for a woman. You never know if they’re going to just accept it and walk away or call you all kinds ofbitches andhos for daring to turn them down. Shit, it’s not even unheard of for a man to put his hands on a woman, or worse.
Fucking shame I have to deal with that in my own house.
I have to be nice in the face of his bad behavior so the workplace isn’t toxic, when he’s the goddamn toxicity.
Being a woman isn’t for the weak of heart.
I inhale a breath and force a smile.
“See you out there.”
I give him as wide a berth as the rows of lockers allow and move around him, striding for the door, feeling his eyes on me.
I just had a shower, but now I need another one.
Not for the first time, I consider walking down the hall to Cam’s or Jared’s office and reporting Matt. Or hunting down Dad and Malcolm and confiding in them. It would be so easy ... and it wouldn’t. Not because they wouldn’t believe me. They would. Especially Dad, Jared, and Malcolm.
But just two days ago I’d been complaining to Solomon about their overprotectiveness and them injecting themselves into my private life. Losing Keshaun—and how I loss Keshaun—broke me, and my family were witnesses to it. And no matter that I’m a capable, skilled firefighter: they can’t seem to erase the broken me from their minds, their memories. Dad constantly checking on me, Mom trying to fix me up, Malcolm’s and Malik’s damn-near-feral need to shield and defend me. Sometimes it’s suffocating. And it fucks with my head. If they believe I’m emotionally fragile or don’t believe I’m strong, then are they right? They know me best, so ...
The thought of being seen as weak turns my stomach.
The possibility ofbeingweak terrifies me.
And it’s that, right there—the chance that they’re correct to worry about my strength, and the possibility ofprovingthem right—that has kept my mouth shut about the shit going on with Matt.
This is my problem, and I can handle it. Ineedto. For my own fucking sanity.
I lost the person who’d been my partner, my confidant, my rock, but I’m fully competent and powerful enough to deal with my own shit. I’m not the young, inexperienced firefighter fresh out of the academy with milk on her breath. And I’m not the daughter and sister whom they had to literally peel off the floor of her bedroom after Keshaun’s death. They don’t need another reason to worry about me, and I refuse to hand it to them. Maybe later I’ll tell them, after this bump in the road passes. But until then ...
I got this.
I have to.
My cell rings just as I pull the door open and step out into the hall. It’s way too early in the morning for all this heavy shit. Cursing under my breath, I retrieve the phone from my front pocket. A glance down at the screen reveals Noni calling. Sighing, I hit the green answer button and lift it to my ear.
“Hey, Noni.”
“Hey, Noni,” she mimics. “That’s all you have to say to me?”
I sigh, tilting my head back and blinking up at the ceiling.
“I take it you’ve seen the picture of me and Solomon.”
“Bitch, yes! It’s all over Beyoncé’s internet. What the hell, Adina? And I’m mad as hell that I had to find out you kissedtheSolomon Young from TMZ rather than from you, my best friend. That breaks so many friend codes that I’m embarrassed for you.”
“I didn’t say anything because I was trying to forget about it,” I mutter.
“Forget about it? Why?” She gasps, and if I wasn’t so upset at well,everything, I would’ve rolled my eyes at her dramatics. “Don’t tell me he drooled in your mouth? Did he almost choke you with his tongue? Please don’t break my heart by telling me a man that fine can’t kiss.”
She sounds so distraught I huff out a chuckle. “No, Noni, your heart is safe. He can kiss.”
“Oh thank God.” She releases a loud sigh. “So why did you want to forget about it?”
