Page 42 of Played
He’s already dragging out his cape, and more than anything I want him to confidently hand that cape over to me ’cause he’s confident I can save myself.
“Yeah, it’s all good. And I have what I came looking for.” I hold up the toys and walk forward and out of the storage room.
Malcolm steps out of the way for me, but his intense, too-piercing, too-seeing stare remains on me for several long seconds before sliding back to Matt.
“Okay,” he finally says. “You can go, Matt. I got her from here if she needs any more help.”
Something flashes in Matt’s eyes, but he gives my brother a stiff nod and takes off down the hall, back toward the kitchen and common area.
“You sure you’re good, Dina?” Malcolm asks, gaze moving over my face.
“Yeah, I’m positive.”
“You know you can tell me anything, and I’ll always have your back, no matter what it is. You’re my family first, a firefighter second. You know that, right?”
“Yes, Mal. I know.” Ducking my head, I shift past him. “I should get back, since I invited Solomon and Khalil here. If I leave him with Jared too long, he might sell my virginity for season tickets.”
Malcolm mugs me. “Man, go on with that. Don’t ever mention that to me again.”
“You’re a big-ass crybaby.”
“I’ll be that as long as this conversation is never repeated.”
Snickering, I turn toward the hall, following behind my brother’s large frame.
Though my mouth is curved into a smile, thick, greasy shame and disappointment coat my throat and chest and puddle in my stomach.
I had no remorse about fibbing to my family about my supposed relationship with Solomon.
But this is different.
Itfeelsdifferent.
I just lied to my brother’s face and in turn protected a piece of shit that I despise, basically handing over my power to him, now that he knows I won’t confess the truth about his behavior toward me.
That shame and disappointment aren’t just in the situation, they’re in me.
I’ve just failedme.
Some hero I am.
I can charge into burning buildings, fight fires, and save people.
But I can’t even save myself.
Chapter Nine
SOLOMON
For the third time, I glance toward the mouth of the hall that Adina disappeared down over ten minutes ago. Does it take this long to grab a couple of things for Khalil?
Shit. I scratch my beard-covered jaw. This is her environment, apparently her home away from home. There’s no reason I should be checking for her like she’s my kid instead of my ... hell, I don’t know. My nothing.
My nothing.
I exhale a low breath and drag my gaze away from the direction Adina left and back to Khalil. A reluctant smile tugs at my mouth. My son is in his element. Surrounded by all these firemen, and he’s the sole focus of attention? Yeah, I’m gonna hear about this for weeks. And I’m good with that. He’s laughing, having a good time. He’s happy. That’s all I want for him.
Yet ... I look back toward the hall.
