Page 92 of Played
That thought is enough to propel me forward, and I stride toward the building. Reaching the door, I pull it open, step inside, and draw up short. Malcolm and Dad stand there in the back hall.
Shit.
I’d managed to hold in my tears, but seeing them here, even though this isn’t even Dad’s shift, has my eyes stinging. Yeah, I can’t walk into that office with Jared and Cam with red eyes. But as they smile at me and Dad stretches out his arms, I don’t really give a damn if my lieutenants see I’ve been crying.
This support, this unconditional love—it’s everything. I’m standing on my own, but it’s so fucking nice to know they’re also standing. At my back. Letting me take the lead on this but giving me a solid front to depend on.
Only a little less difficult than making this decision was telling my family the truth.
At our Sunday dinner, I revealed everything to them.
Saying they were pissed would be an understatement. Hurt and pissed. Dad, Malcolm, and Malik, because I didn’t feel like I could come to them. Especially Malcolm, because he flat-out asked me if something was wrong. And Mom, because of the same reason, but also because we’re women. She would’ve understood, being a Black female professor in academia, but I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t tell Dad.
Now, I know the error of my ways. I isolated myself from those who would’ve gone to war for me. It’s commendable to be self-reliant and walk in my own strength. But that doesn’t mean I have to do it alone.
Once they got over their immediate anger, they wholeheartedly supported my decision to report Matt. With that encouragement, I didn’t waste another moment in calling Jared and asking if I could see him and Cam before my shift started on Tuesday. Procedure dictates that I report the incidents to my shift commanding officer, which is Jared. But I requested Cam be there as well so no one could accuse Jared of not being impartial.
Like I said, that was Sunday, and now I’m minutes from walking into that office.
“You got this, baby girl,” Dad murmurs, closing his arms around me and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
For the first time I don’t say anything about him calling me that while we’re in the station. Probably because I need thatbaby girlnow, reminding me who I am and who I come from.
“We’re going to be waiting for you when you’re done. Right there,” Malcolm assures me, settling a hand on my back. “I’m proud of you, sis.”
I embrace that pride in his voice and in Dad’s face.
More importantly, I embrace the pride in myself.
Nodding, I say, “Let’s do this.”
They follow behind me as I climb the steps and make my way to Jared’s office. I stop at the closed door, lifting my fist to knock on it. But at the last moment, I pause, reach behind my neck, and remove Keshaun’s necklace.
I’m not forgetting my past; I’m just stepping into my future without any crutches. And though my love for him is something I’ll always treasure and he’ll always live in my heart, the time has come to let go. And as I tuck the necklace into the pocket of my uniform pants, that’s just what I do.
I knock on the door, and at Jared’s deep “Come on in,” I grasp the doorknob and inhale a deep breath that would have my old therapist giving me a thumbs-up. Deliberately relaxing each muscle in my body, I briefly close my eyes, offer up a short prayer, and enter the office.
I step out of the office, leaving Jared and Cam behind inside. Shutting the door behind me, I blow out a breath, dropping my head and closing my eyes.
I did it.
“You did it,” Malcolm says.
I open my eyes, and Malcolm and Dad smile down at me. Reaching out, Malcolm, then Dad draw me into a hug. I return each of their hugs, squeezing them tight.
“I knew you could,” Dad adds.
“I did too.” I smile.
“You’re happy you did it, though?” Malcolm asks.
I nod, squeezing his hand, which hasn’t released mine. “Yeah. I’m happy and proud of myself.”
I am going to let everything with Matt go. It’s taken me a minute to get here, but I refuse to let him pollute my spirit any longer. Not one more second.
I’d already made the decision to report him, but it’d been solidified when Dad informed me that Matt would most likely be put on paid leave and the write-up would go in his file, which could affect his promotions, but that was it. He would be right back in this house after hissuspension was up, and while he might not make lieutenant in the near future, it could—and probably would—still happen.
In other words, he could return here and continue to be the same POS he’s always been.
