Page 100 of Here With Me
I scoff. “Unfortunately.”
“I'll leave y’all alone now. Might wanna get him cleaned up.” She lifts her chin toward Fisher, and I nod.
“Good idea. Meet me at my house,” I tell him, giving him no room to argue as I walk to my truck. My brothers can spend the afternoon finishing the rest of the chores.
“You sure it's okay for me to be here?” Fisher asks for the third time while standing in my bathroom.
“No one's payin' attention to our locations right now.” Carefully, I pull off his shirt, then unbutton his jeans. “Plus, you need to wash off this blood.”
I turn on the shower and strip off my clothes while waiting for it to get hot. Memories of us here just days ago still live rent-free in my head. But that's not what this time is about. Fisher's dealing with a lot more than I realized when it comes to Jase.
There's no way Jase will maturely handle the truth about his dad and me.
Fisher takes my hand and joins me under the stream as I step in. We silently wash each other, slowly moving the soap over limbs and intimate body parts.
“Talk to me,” I say, breaking the silence.
“I dunno who my own kid is, and that's my fault. He's lashin’ out, and there's nothin' I can do about it.”
I rub my palm across his damp chest, feeling his racing heart as mine aches for him.
“Jase has always been quick to react without thinkin'. That's not your fault. He's never gotten along with my brothers, but he's never been physical like that before. I'm not sure where that came from.”
“Desperation,” he responds. “The thought of losin' you made him snap.”
“You overheard?”
“I could read the situation pretty quickly.”
“It was unexpected. I had no idea he wanted to get back together. But even if I were single, I wouldn't be interested. I tried turnin' him down as nicely as I could, but then everythin' just escalated so fast.”
“He said somethin' that shoulda clued me in, but I was hopin' I was wrong.”
I narrow my eyes. “What do ya mean?”
“He mentioned somethin' about gettin' a second chance at love and wantin' to do it right this time around. When he was givin' me the walk-through of his house, he talked about startin' a family and makin' memories of his own. I didn't ask him to elaborate because I thought he was implying how he didn't get those family memories growin' up. Assumed he was statin' he wanted to have them with his own wife and kids.”
“Maybe you bein' here is bringin' some of those painful memories back up, and instead of talkin' with you, he's actin' out.” I shrug. “Either way, it doesn't excuse his behavior today.”
He frowns. “You're right, it doesn't.”
“Do you mind if I ask you somethin' about Lyla?”
He brushes wet strands of hair off my cheek and slowly rubs his thumb over my jawline. “Go ahead.”
“You said somethin' Sunday night that I've been wonderin' about. Jase made it sound like you disappeared within weeks of her death. You mentioned how you traveled for about eight years. But if she passed a decade ago, where were you for those two years?”
His throat shifts as he swallows hard, and I worry I've hit a nerve he won't be comfortable talking about.
“In a behavioral health facility,” he finally says. “Jase doesn't know that.”
“Oh...” I blink. “Why not?”
“I didn't want him to know what I'd done or tried to do. If he knew where I was, he'd ask why, and then I'd have to lie. I didn't want him to know the truth.”
I tilt my head as I hear the brokenness in his voice. “Why were you in there?”
He drops his gaze as he works his jaw. “I was suicidal, Noah. Three weeks after we buried my daughter, I asked my friend to kill me.”
