Page 106 of Here With Me
“Didn't she name it Tiny?” I ask.
“Yep, Tiny the St. Bernard.”
I smile because more memories of Lyla flood in that I've blocked out for years. They were too painful to remember, but I like having them now.
“He passed away a few months after you left,” Jase admits. “Vet said it was a rare heart condition. Mom said he died of a broken heart because he missed Lyla just as much as we did.”
I shake my head. “I'm so sorry.”
Jase nods as if he's too choked up to speak.
When the wind picks up, we decide to leave, but then I ask Jase to give me a moment alone. He goes to my truck, and I stand in front of her stone, apologizing over and over for not coming sooner.
“I will always wish it were me and not you who died that day. We'll be reunited someday, and when that time comes, I will catch you and never let go. Rest in peace, baby girl.”
As I walk away, I let the tears fall freely even though I hate it. I've done my best to leave my guard up, but with Noah cracking it and Jase and I coming here, it was bound to fall.
When I get in the truck, I immediately start it and roll down the windows.
“Is it stupid to think I can have a normal happy family of my own? A wife and some kids, maybe even a dog or two,” Jase asks, looking outside as we drive out of the cemetery.
“No, not at all. You deserve to find someone who makes ya happy. Findin' that person you can spend the rest of your life with is a beautiful thing. And bein’ a father is the greatest feelin' in the world. Holdin' you and Lyla as babies made me so proud. I know it might be hard to believe after what I did, but you two were my greatest achievements and biggest blessings.”
“I reckon I really screwed up with Noah,” he mutters.
My heart thuds at the sound of her name coming out of his mouth. We need to talk about her and what he'd done, but our heart-to-heart had to come first, which is why I brought him out here in the first place.
I clear my throat. “You wanna talk about it now?”
“I've never talked to her like that before. I know I overreacted, yet my temper got outta hand. She's never gonna forgive me.”
“She might. What triggered this?”
“It's stupid.” He shrugs, but I prompt him to tell me anyway. “Craig Sanders says he saw her makin' out with someone in her truck at Twisted Bull the night we went to Lilian's Restaurant. I guess it had me upset because I always thought we'd get back together. When I could prove I was the right guy for her, she'd see that we're a good fit. Decent job and new house. The next step is startin' a family. When she rejected me, I dunno what happened. I just saw red. The thought of her with another guy is somethin' I haven't had to worry about...until now, I guess.”
My back goes ramrod straight, waiting to see if he asks me what I think he will.
Does he know we rode together in her truck? Or does he assume we drove separately?
“You were there with her brothers, right? Did you see her with anyone? When she turned me down, I asked who she was datin', but she wouldn't say.”
“Um...yeah, there was one guy she was dancin' with.” It's not a lie, but I still feel like fucking shit anyway. “Well, she and Magnolia. They were out there for a while.”
“I shoulda known she'd find someone better.”
Jase feeling down about himself is linked to his lack of confidence. Another thing I should've taught him.
“You still love her, then?” I tread lightly, hoping I'm not making myself obvious as hell.
He shrugs, and my throat goes dry.
“I thought maybe I did, but then after talkin' to Gramma Grace, she kinda helped me realize I was in love with theideaof her. Having a partner, wife, someone to come home to. I love her as a person, I know that much, but as far as datin', I'm not sure.”
I blink a few times, confused if I should be relieved or not.
“Does that make sense?”
“Definitely.”
