Page 141 of Here With Me
“All done.” I turn off the water, then step out to grab the towels. Once I wrap one around my waist, I help dry her hair and put another around her body.
Instead of handing her the crutches, I scoop her up and carry her out.
“I can hop,” she says when I walk toward her bedroom.
“On a wet foot? No. Usin’ crutches while you’re soakin’ wet and grippin’ a towel on? Also no.” I arch a brow. “You’ll be back in the ER, gettin’ prepped for surgery.”
She grinds her teeth and groans. “This sucks.”
After I set her down on the mattress, she holds the towel in place by crossing her arms and legs. She’s less than amused that she can’t do things on her own, and I know that struggle all too well.
“Noah.” I grab her attention, then kneel so we’re at eye level. “I understand being taken care of and looked after is hard. You’re independent, you thrive bein’ on a schedule, and you’re not built to sit around and do nothin’. Those are just a few of the qualities I adore about you. When I got injured, I hated every fuckin’ minute of being off work. But the one thing I’ve learned is that the worse attitude you have, the more miserable you’ll be. So when I’m tough on you, it’s because I know what happens when you don’t follow instructions and fuck yourself up even more. I want you to heal as fast as possible so you can get your annoyin’ ass back in the arena.”
She licks her lips before sucking her bottom one between her teeth. “That’s not why I’m frustrated.”
“Okay, then tell me. What’s goin’ on?”
“You broke my heart.” She pauses and lowers her gaze as if getting the words out is more painful than her ankle. “Each day you’re here takin’ care of me only adds to the reasons I fell for you in the first place. But I can’t act on those feelings. You’re off-limits, and keepin’ my distance is another level of torture. I don’t mean to come off as ungrateful because I’m not, but your bein’ here is a constant reminder of what I can’t have. Most girls get to go through heartbreak and cry themselves to sleep in the privacy of their own room. I can’t get over it when the person who caused the pain basically lives in my house, treatin’ me like a queen, and makin’ me wish I didn’t give up so easily. So when I saythis sucks, it’s because I wanna to kiss you every second you’re here. And I can’t.”
Her voice cracks as tears fall down her cheeks, and I swear I forget how to breathe. Her words are a dagger to my heart, and I hate myself for what I’ve done to her.
I should’ve realized how hard this would be for her and not insisted on being the one to take care of her. But I felt so damn guilty that she got hurt on my watch, and I couldn’t prevent her injuries when I’d promised to protect her.
Grabbing her hand, I bring it up to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. I contemplate saying fuck it and telling Jase right now that I’m in love with Noah, but he’s not the only obstacle we’d have to navigate. Her parents would have to accept their daughter with a man twice her age and hopefully not fire me.
“I’m so sorry that me being here is causin’ you more heartache. If I could change the circumstances, I would. I don’t wanna be the root of your pain, so if ya want, I won’t stay here anymore. I’ll tell everyone I have to get back to my other clients. I’m sure Magnolia would love nothin’ more than to quit her job and take care of you twenty-four seven. Whatever you want, Noah.”
She lowers her eyes and nods. “I think that’d be best.”
“Alright. I don’t wanna leave you alone tonight, but first thing tomorrow, I’ll make sure someone’s here.”
With Craig out to get Noah, there’s no way she’s spending even one night alone.
“Can ya help me get dressed?” she asks after I change back into my clothes.
“Of course. What do you wanna wear?”
She points out a baggy T-shirt, and then I find her a pair of panties and get her settled into bed. I grab her an ice pack for her ribs, then prop her foot up on a pillow.
“You look cozy. All good?”
“Actually...” She fidgets, clearing her throat and sitting up higher. “Would ya mind stayin’ in here and watchin’ a movie with me? I know I just asked you to leave, but if this is your last night, maybe we can hang out for a couple of hours? Except this time I get to pick somethin’ out since you made me watch Underboard.”
I chuckle, threading my fingers through my damp hair and counting the dozens of ways this is a bad idea. “Overboard.”
“Yeah, that.” She waves me off, then pulls back the covers.
Crossing my arms, I say, “Depends. What is it?”
She grabs her Apple remote and flips through her apps until she lands on an image of Taylor Swift. I arch a brow, looking back and forth between her and the screen.
“It’s time you get educated onMiss Americana.”
We spend the next hour and a half lying side by side in her bed, and all I can think about is how I’ve let her down. She watches with tears in her eyes, and I can’t tell if it’s for the documentary or for us.
“Wasn’t it so inspirin’ and tragically beautiful?”
“It was really good.”
