Page 29 of Tell Them Emily Sent You
“I think they understand us far too well,” Marla said, laughing.She and Holly exchanged adoring glances, and I felt all warm and fuzzy knowing that my bestie was loved and happy.“Stop sending me eyebrow semaphore, Holly.I’m not going to take him home.For one, he’s Emily’s.And for another, the cats would go crazy having him in the house.What are you going to tell Fang?I thought you guys had a two-pet limit?”
“Herbert is a wedding present,” I said, carefully scooping Herbert up since he seemed to want to sleep, and peeling off the cowboy outfit before tucking him back into the carrier.I had torn up a bunch of newspaper, and set it in the back on top of a thick pad of the Sunday edition for Herbert to use as a litter box.Before closing his door, I set the bowl of pellets and seeds into the crate with him.He snuggled into the towel and looked sleepy.“Fang can’t refuse to take a wedding present.”
I wasn’t so sure about that last point, but figured I’d worry about that later.
We spent another few minutes watching Herbert go to sleep before Marla said she wanted a nap before dinner.“The massage made me feel like a soggy noodle, and I swear it helped my cold,” she said, stretching.“We have to get some of those stones, Holly.I could have lain there for hours while the masseuse covered me in stones.”
“It was good,” I agreed, getting to my feet.“Are you sure you’re not up to the fire lessons?Dinner is at seven, but we should be through with the fire by six.I figured we’d want some time to recover.”
“I think a nap would do me more good,” she said, then headed off toward her room.
“I tried to pick things that I thought everyone would like,” I said slowly, worried that Marla wasn’t having as much fun as I’d hoped.“Does she have something against learning how to breathe fire?The lady who will be teaching us said it’s perfectly safe to learn.”
“No, she doesn’t have a problem with it per se,” Holly said in a choked voice.“It’s just ...oh, Emily.You are so uniquely you.Never, ever change.”She came in for another bear hug, then trotted off to join Marla.
“Yeah, but unique in a good way, right?”I asked, leaning out of the doorway to yell after her.“Not like Bess?Right?Right?”
Laughter trailed after her as she turned the corner to her end of the hotel.
I thought of texting Fang that we had an addition to the family, but decided that discussion would be better kept until he was back from his stag do.Instead, I followed the lead of the others (Mom, Kathie, and Amy all said the massages and mud baths left them in need of a nap) and curled up on the bed, my phone open to a website on the care of pet pigeons.
Two hours later I emerged wearing an old tee and long pants, as requested by the fire-breathing teacher.As I headed for the back staircase, which split to head upward into the attic rooms, as well as leading down into a small room that opened to the garden, voices drifted down from on high.
“We’ll have to grab him,” a man’s voice said.It was pitched low, but he must have been standing at the top of the stairs, because the noise echoed down the staircase to me.
“It’s too dangerous,” a second man’s voice answered.He was more hushed, but by holding my breath and eavesdropping like crazy, I could just discern what he was saying.“We can’t risk taking him.Someone would notice.”
“Holy shit,” I whispered under my breath, goose bumps breaking out on my arms.It was Bess’s evil bird group!She was wrong about the people being police, but they definitely were there looking for Herbert.
“We can’t risknottaking him,” the first man said in a decisive voice, and footsteps sounded on the wooden stairs.
I hustled back into my room, double-checked that Herbert was fine, and then hauled him over to Holly’s room.
“It’s just until we’re done breathing fire,” I told Marla, who was snuggled into bed with a book and a pot of tea.“Then I’ll pick him back up.Don’t let anyone into the room who you don’t know.Those evil bird peeps could be anywhere.”
“I will protect Herbert with my life,” Marla swore, and Holly and I left them to go out and get fiery.
TURTLE-TROUSER MAN: Attic
“Leon!”
“Will you shut it?Someone is going to hear you!”Leon hissed, spinning around to glare at Monty, who took a step back in response, causing him to brush against a dusty armoire.
He leaped forward and immediately dusted his lucky pair of turtle trousers.He wanted to protest Leon’s tendency to be unreasonably snappish, not to mention cavalier in regard to his special trousers, but a lifetime experience of his cousin had him biting back the words.“Sorry.I thought I’d tell you since Ben left us here alone.Is he going to be back soon?”
“He’s off dealing with his ex-wife, and will be back when he’s back.Stop being such a baby about doing the job by ourselves.We’ll be fine so long as you do as you’re told.Did you find him?”Leon brushed past Monty to go into the second of the three attic rooms.This one was filled with the empty equipment containers that Leon insisted made them look legit.
Monty resisted the urge to twitch his shoulders in irritation.He hated it when Leon snapped at him.“The copper?He’s nowhere.”
“Are you daft?He has to be somewhere.We saw him roll in.”Leon turned angry eyes on Monty.“You said you were going to be good on this job.I’m vouching for you.You’d better get your shit together, and do what I tell you to do.”
“I am,” Monty protested, feeling Leon was being overly critical of his participation.He had an unreasonable urge to tell his mum that once again Leon was bullying him.She always offered him solidarity against his dad’s family.“I’m doing everything you say to do.I can’t help it if he’s not in the hotel.”
“You can, because he’s got to be here.They all are here.That waiter with the tits said there’s a dinner in an hour.Now get back out there and find him.And if no one is around, nab him.”
“What am I supposed to do to him?”Monty’s voice echoed slightly, causing Leon to shush him and hurriedly close the door to the attic landing.“I can’t haul him all around the place!You call me daft, but that plan is dafter than the daftiest daft thing.”
“You’re a real wanker, you know that?Here I bring you into the group, vouching for you to everyone, and we get sent here on this little job, and you’re all up in my tits about doing your fair bit.”Leon almost snarled when he spoke, making Monty once again take a step backward.“You bring him up here, OK?Can you stuff that in the thick sludge you call your head?Bring him up here.”
