Page 33 of Tell Them Emily Sent You
“I’m sure, Mom,” I reassured her for the umpteenth time.“To be absolutely honest, it’s a toss-up on whether I’d be here if Brother had been able to get me a ticket for the tour and tea.But regardless, I’m happy that he’s having such a fabulous experience.”
“Where’s Fang?”Mom asked, having switched her concern to what delicious offerings Mace and Gerard had whipped up for breakfast.“Oh dear lord, are those orange cranberry scones?You know I have exactly zero resistance against orange cranberry scones.I cannot stop eating them!”
“That’s exactly why I asked Mace to make some,” I said, popping the end bit of a nearly orgasmic orange cranberry scone into my mouth, and trying not to moan with mingled hangover and appreciation of Mace’s scones.“It’s working miracles on my wonky brain.”
“Wonky brain?Oh, a hangover?”Mom said, scoffing as she scooped up a plateful of herbed eggs, sausage, toast, and potatoes.“You hardly drank anything.Your aunt is the one who should have a hangover.She and Amy were having a good time over a few bottles of prosecco.”
I looked up from where I was staring into my coffee.Gerard, Fang and I had discovered, had a near obsession with roasting his own coffee, and it made our coffee-loving hearts soar with happiness to drink the results.“Uh-oh.Is that hurt feelings I hear?Did they leave you out?That’s not like Kathie.”
“No, no, it was nothing like that,” Mom said quickly.“I’m not tattling at all.I’m simply mentioning if anyone has a hangover, it should be her and not you.”
I thought of pointing out my mother was in no condition to throw stones, but the truth was, she was as bright and perky as she was normally.There wasn’t even a hint of wincing when she went to stand at the window gazing out at the sun-filled garden, whereas when I had done the same thing twenty minutes before, I had careened back from the sunlight like an elderly vampire.
“Where is Fang?”Mom asked again as she sat at the table with me.
“Face down on the bed with his shirt and shoes on, and nothing else,” I told her, remembering the pale-pink lipstick I’d used to put a smiley face on his bare ass.I leaned down to pop a bit of strawberry into Herbert’s carrier.He cooed at it and smacked his beak quite a bit.I assumed that meant he enjoyed it, and chopped up another one.
“That is frequently the way of bachelor parties,” Mom said around a mouth of eggs and sausage.“I expected Brother to be in a similar state, but evidently he got himself dressed and off without waking me up.Ah well, I’m sure he’ll appreciate the video of the wedding.If you’re—”
“That’s it,” I said, rising and picking up Herbert’s carrier.“I’m putting a moratorium on questions about my feelings, which I have made perfectly clear both in writing and verbally.I shall now go to the spa in order to sweat for half an hour.That ought to get rid of any leftover booze toxins.”
“Spa?”Amy and Kathie stood in the doorway, both wearing sunglasses.Their expressions were pained, and Amy had a faint green cast to her complexion, while Kathie clutched the doorframe with an air of desperation.Behind her, Clara stood with her phone in her hand, tapping away.
Kathie said, “Sweat?Are you talking about the sauna?Oh god, that sounds heavenly.I can lie there and let the heat suck out all the bad.Clara, would you like to try the sauna?”
She looked up, scrunched her nose, and then, after a moment’s thought, shook her head.“I don’t like to get sweaty.I’ll stay here with Dad.”
“You are an angel child, with your father’s good looks and my smarts,” Kathie said, giving her a swift ruffle of the hair before both women turned a careful about-face and, holding on to each other’s arms, stumbled off toward the spa.
“I’ll watch over your mom,” I told Clara, who, like my mother, had her focus narrowed on the breakfast offerings.
She murmured something, but her eyes lit as she beheld the food.
“Mom, sauna after you eat?”I asked.
She waggled a hand.“Perhaps.It’s an hour until makeup and hair, yes?”
“Yes, but it’s not really going to be hair and makeup, per se.It’s just Holly fixing my hair, and Marla doing the makeup.”
“Marla is so good with makeup,” Holly piped in from the coveted table.Even Clara had given them a sour look, since Dobby, the cat, was a favorite with her.“She does the best zombie you’ve ever seen.She manages to make it look like the veins on your neck are open and oozing—”
“Yeah, that’s not going down well,” I said at a small protest from my stomach.“I’m going to sweat.Join if you want; otherwise, I’ll see everyone in an hour.”
Iain and Corbin were midway down the stairs when I hurried away, but other than accepting their happy wishes for the day, I didn’t stay to chat.
Fang, I mused.Like my aunt, I stretched out on one of the wooden benches, mentally encouraging my body to exude the remaining alcohol via my pores.Fang was no doubt still sleeping it off, but I was loath to wake him up.He so seldom had days when he could sleep in.
“I don’t want to disturb Fang until it’s time to get married,” I announced to the sauna in general.By then, it was full of my mother, Kathie, Amy, and, oddly enough, Devon, who lay on the bench opposite in a pair of extremely small white Speedos, a towel covering his face.I had an idea he was actually sleeping, but figured maybe his pores were working for him, too.“Would you mind if I got dressed in your room, Mom?”
“Our room is bigger,” Marla offered.“You’re all welcome to dress there.”
“Sounds like a party,” Mom said, and the others agreed, including Devon.
“I thought you were asleep,” I told him, nudging the towel with my toe.
“I was.That, or I was briefly deceased,” he answered, clutching the towel.“Stop that.”
I made a face at him.“You know better than to get drunk the night before your best friend gets married.”
